


Healing

by TiffanyF



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Torchwood
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-12
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-20 22:41:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/590450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiffanyF/pseuds/TiffanyF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set post-Angels Take Manhatten, the TARDIS lands in Cardiff without the Doctor knowing where it's heading. Jack and Ianto board and Jack refuses to leave until the Doctor is healed and himself again. Rated for future chapters and possible events. Don't own, don't make money from these.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Landing

The slow materialization of the TARDIS caught Ianto's attention first and he ran up to Jack's office to tell his lover that the Doctor was back in Cardiff. Jack didn't even hesitate, he ran out of the hub, Ianto close behind up. Jack had no idea why the Doctor would be back in Cardiff so soon, but he wasn't going to miss the chance to talk to the Time Lord.

Ianto caught Jack as he bounced back, the door to the TARDIS shut and locked. "Are you okay, sir?" Ianto asked, trying to stay in his in-public persona, when all he wanted to do was kiss Jack's nose and make sure the immortal was okay.

"Yeah, wow, she's never done that to me before." Jack rubbed his hand and glanced at Ianto. "My key is in the safe."

"I'm not leaving you to fetch it."

"I'm not asking you to. Just, never tell anyone what I did to get in here, okay?" Jack asked. "I doubt it would work for anyone else, but I don't want people getting ideas."  
Ianto matched the grin on his lover's face. "Then I'll add it to the list, sir," he said, dropping his voice on the last word.

Jack shivered at the tone in his lover's voice, but focused on the task at hand. There was no way for him to know how long it had been for the Doctor since the last time he dropped Jack off on Earth, but it had only been about a year for Jack. He reached out and started to stroke the TARDIS's door. "Hey there, beautiful girl, I forgot my key and I'd really like to see the Doctor," he murmured softly, feeling the wood warm under his hand. "Not to mention seeing you. I've missed you both so much. Will you let us in, please? I'll take all the blame with the Doctor."

Ianto jumped when the door unlocked and opened. "How the hell?"

"The TARDIS is more than a ship, Ianto," Jack said. He shut the door behind them. "Thank you, beautiful. She's alive, Ianto. I don't understand it all, but she's alive and hears everything in and around her." He turned and got his first look at the darkened console room. "Oh, baby, what's happened to you?"

"Jack?" Ianto asked.

"The console room is completely different than it was last year," Jack said. "Completely new." They walked up the stairs, Jack running his hands over every surface he could. "What's happened to you? How long has it been since we've seen each other?"

"Is it supposed to be so dark in here?" Ianto asked.

"No, it's not, and the dark isn't good," Jack replied. "Ianto, listen to me. I swear to you that I'm not going to leave you behind, but I need you to go and get some things for me, okay? Let me talk to the Doctor alone and I'll call you when it's safe to come back in."

"Safe?"

"Ianto, the lights being out like this mean it's not the Doctor on the TARDIS right now," Jack said. "It's the Oncoming Storm. The Destroyer of Worlds and he is ready to kill. I don't know what's happened, but I can't risk you like this. Go back to the hub, get the whiskey, my key, and find us some dinner. I don't even care what, just some food for us to eat. Wait for me to call you. Please, do this for me."

"I won't leave you alone to face someone dangerous," Ianto said.

"Ianto, it's the Doctor, but it's not the Doctor. The Daleks named him the Oncoming Storm and they fear him. Do you understand me? I can face him because I've done it before and I won't stay dead. You will. I can't lose you," Jack said. He looked into Ianto's eyes. "Please, Ianto, for me. Do this for me and I'll let you pick the next round with the stopwatch."

"Jack."

"Go, Ianto. Now. Please, go."

Ianto stared into Jack's eyes for a long moment and nodded. "Be careful," he whispered, kissing his lover softly.

"I will," Jack said. "I swear I will." He paused, picking up on a noise. "Ianto, run. He's coming up to the control room.

Jack turned to block the stairs to the door when he caught sight of a strange man staring down at him. "You regenerated," he whispered. "Doctor, what's happened?"

"How did you get in here?" the Doctor asked. 

"The TARDIS let me in," Jack replied. He heard the door close behind him and started moving towards the Doctor. "I asked her to, don't be mad at your ship. I wanted to see you, but didn't have my key with me and didn't want you to vanish while I was getting it."

"Cardiff?"

"Yes. How long has it been for you?" Jack asked. 

The Doctor just stared at him before turning around and walking back into the TARDIS. Jack followed, still talking. He hadn't seen the Doctor so bad in a long time and was worried about what had happened. "It's only been about a year for me, since we brought the Earth back after the whole mess with Davros," he said. 

"Go away, Jack."

"No. I don't know what happened, but I think you need someone around right now," Jack said. "I sent Ianto for some food, are you hungry? When's the last time you ate anything?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Well, you're stuck with me," Jack said. "You need to let some of this out, Doctor. All this hate is going to burn you up, are you sure you'll regenerate if that happens? Is that something you want to risk?"

"I don't care," the Doctor said. "None of it matters anymore."

Jack winced, wishing there was a little more light so he could see the Doctor's face. He was flying blind with a new regeneration of the Doctor, now his third. "Hey beautiful, is there any chance you could turn the lights up a little?" Jack asked. "Nothing bright, just enough that we can see each other?"

The Doctor snorted when the lights came up. "She's always liked you," he said. "Fine, stay, just leave me alone."

"Where's your current companion?" Jack asked, following the Doctor again. They were getting into halls that he'd never seen before, and wondered how deep into the TARDIS they were.

"Gone."

"How long?"

"I don't know. Minutes, hours, days, years," the Doctor said. "None of it matters. I was too slow and too stupid."

"Slow I'll believe, but never stupid, Doctor," Jack said. He stepped in closer. "What do you need more, to kill someone or have a hug?"

"Don't touch me, Jack."

Jack kept moving. "I haven't heard that tone in a while," he said. "Put a little more growl into it and you'll sound like my original Doctor. That's who you remind me of right now, Doctor. The you right after the Time War. Come on, we've known each other for lifetimes. Who else is going to understand what you're suffering?"  
"I could kill you," the Doctor said seriously. "I could kill you right here and no one would know about it. Just keep you and kill you over and over again."

"If that's what you need," Jack said. "Though that's more the Master's style than yours. He's not in there, is he? You didn't cross a timeline you weren't supposed to or anything?"

The Doctor shrank a little. "No, he's not here. I'm still the last of my kind, Jack."

Jack wrapped the Doctor in a tight hug. "You're in so much pain right now, Doctor," he whispered. "What do I need to do to help you let it out? Ianto's gone until I call him back, you won't be able to hurt him. You can hurt me, you know I can take it. Do what you need to do to bury the Storm again."

"They're gone, Jack," the Doctor whispered. "Gone to a place where I can never follow them, no matter how much I want to."

"Who?"

"Amy and Rory."

"Your companions?"

"I swore I would always keep them safe and I couldn't. In the end, they're both as good as dead. Removed from their timeline forever and blocked from me," the Doctor said. 

Jack caught his weight as he collapsed. "You need food, Doctor," he said softly. "How do I get to your room from here?"

"It's gone."

"Mine then?"

"You'll know." The Doctor either fell asleep or passed out, it was hard to tell which, but the lights came on fully, leaving Jack blinking in the sudden glare.

"Well, how about it, beautiful? Can you lead me to my room and I'll take care of him for you. You're smart to bring him here. I think I'm one of the only ones who would be able to take care of him in this state," Jack said. He started back the way they came and the halls adjusted for him until he was standing outside a familiar door. "Thanks, beautiful." Jack nudged the door open and found that his room was about as he'd left it.

He put the Doctor on the bed and looked at the drawn face. "This is going to take a while," he said with a sigh. Jack pulled out his cell phone and called his lover. "Ianto, slight change of plans. Have you gone for food yet?"

"Not yet, sir."

"Head to the shops and get soup, crackers and anything else you can think of that will be gentle on a stomach that hasn't had food in what's probably weeks," Jack said. "Get soda and tea, oh, and bananas. Lots of bananas. I don't know if this Doctor likes them as much as he used to, but they're good for people who are sick. Then get back here. Use my key and wait for me in the console room. Ianto, I need to go with him. He needs me badly right now."

"Then we'll go together," Ianto said. "I'm walking into the shop now, Jack. Is there anything else you need?"

"Whatever you can think of, and what do you mean together?"

"I'm not letting you go off with your Doctor again and have all the fun," Ianto said. "I'm going and that's final."

"Ianto, I told you, he's not himself right now and I can't keep you safe."

"Then the ship will," Ianto said. "This is not up for discussion, sir. You're both stuck with me for however long it takes to get him better. I'll be there in an hour and I won't be leaving again."

Jack sighed. "Fine, whatever," he said. "But you're going to listen to me once we're in space. If I tell you to run, you run and hide until I let you know it's safe again."

"Yes sir," Ianto said.

"Drop the sir," Jack sighed. "See you when you get here."

"I'll hurry."

Jack tucked his phone back in his pocket and took off his coat. "Well then, time to get a few things in order. Beautiful, can you let me know when Ianto is back and you're fully fueled, please?" he asked. He grinned when the lights flashed in reply. "Thank you. I know you can fly on your own when he's sick or in trouble, so once Ianto is back, can you help me get us back up into the Time Vortex while I try to think of a place where we can go to help him heal?"

Sensing the yes in the air, Jack turned back towards the figure on his bed. The Doctor in his bed. How many times had Jack dreamed of that, and now that he was there, he was too sick and broken for Jack to do anything with. Fate kept laughing at him. With another small sigh, Jack set about stripping the Doctor of his bow-tie, jacket and boots first, dithering a little on whether or not to take off the rest, but figured the Time Lord would be more comfortable in whatever he wore for pants while lying in bed. Finding out that the Doctor didn't wear pants didn't help anything, and Jack bit his lip. "This was such a bad idea," he muttered. He turned to the built-ins where he thought he remembered leaving an old pair of sleep trousers that would at least cover the Doctor up. Jack really didn't want to explain the presence of a naked Doctor in his bed to Ianto. His lover was open-minded about a lot of things, but Jack sleeping with others wasn't among them.

"Beautiful, do you have a record of what's been going on?" Jack asked softly, stroking the Doctor's hair. The lights flashed. "Show me the highlights?"  
He sat down on the bed next to the Doctor where he could keep stroking the soft brown hair, but see the area where the TARDIS would project events for him. Jack watched the regeneration, crash, and what had to be a brief summary of events with a pair of humans he assumed were Amy and Rory. "This is the most he's let himself feel since Rose, isn't it, beautiful?" he asked.

The lights flashed in agreement and the image shifted mid-picture to show the console room and Ianto. "Thanks. Monitor him while I'm gone, and let's get up into the Time Vortex, well, if you're ready." Jack kissed the Doctor's forehead softly and headed out towards the console room. "Ianto?"

"I wasn't sure what to get, or how long we'd be gone," Ianto replied, looking at the bags by his feet. "Here's your key. We're out of whiskey at the hub. Owen probably got into it while we weren't looking. What now, Jack?"

"We get the food stored in the kitchen and go on a little trip." Jack picked up most of the bags. "Come on, the kitchen is this way."

"Why is it so much bigger in here?" Ianto asked, following along with the rest of their food. "How is it so much bigger in here?"

"It's another dimension, don't think about it too much or you'll give yourself the willies," Jack replied. "Here we go, kitchen. Everything in here is bigger on the inside, so don't freak out while you're putting things away. These are the cold cabinets here, they're like a fridge but cooler. Cans can go here, produce in this bowl and it'll stay fresh for as long as the TARDIS is running. Drinks go down here. I'm going back up to the console room to take us into space, but I'll be back as fast as I can. I want to try and get the Doctor to eat something."

"Where is he?"

"Asleep. I'll be right back."

Jack could feel Ianto watching him as he walked out, heading back towards the console room. "Okay, beautiful, I think I remember how this goes, but that was on a different console," he said. "Let me know if I push the wrong button, will you?" He moved around the console slowly, trying to match what was there to what he remembered and only relaxed when he heard the noise that meant they were heading towards the Vortex. "There we go, thank you."

"Jack?"

"Ianto?"

"I got everything put away," Ianto said. He walked down and stood next to Jack at the console. "How did you know what to do?"

"He gave me lessons back when I first met him," Jack replied softly, running a finger over the console pannel in front of them. "I'd planned to stay with him for as long as I could so he was slowly showing me what to do. Humans normally can't fly the TARDIS, but because of my time with the time agency, I had some special skills. I'm just glad I was able to remember everything. Come on, let's go get some food cooked and then I'll find you a bedroom. I'm serious about you staying away from the Doctor right now, Ianto. I don't know what all has happened to him, but it's scarred him and it's possible he's not the man you talked to, however briefly that was."

Ianto stopped Jack and pulled him in tightly. "What about you?" he whispered against Jack's neck.

"I'll be fine. I've seen this before. It scares the crap out of me because the mood swings are violent and unpredictable, but in the end, I know how to deal with it. You'll probably hear shouting and other loud, scary noises, but even if he kills me, I'll come back," Jack said. "Don't worry, I don't think he'll kill me. These moods are brought on by guilt and grief and he won't add to it. Not unless it's the last thing he's planning to ever do."

"Do you think he's going to kill himself?"

"I don't know, Ianto. I just don't know."


	2. Food and sleep

"All right," Jack said as he got the tray set up, "I want to make sure you understand this. No matter what you hear, you stay in the kitchen. The Doctor isn't going to want to eat and I don't know who he is right now."

"What do you mean, you don't know who he is."

"He changes when he regenerates," Jack said. "When I first met him he was brooding anger overlayed by manic periods of joy. The Doctor you saw was bouncy and cheerful, but still sad. I don't know what this one is going to be. From what I saw he's almost broken by guilt, but there could be parts of his personality he wasn't showing me. I want you safe, Ianto. I can survive, you won't."

"Jack, you have to think about what hurting you would do to him too."

"Our relationship is complicated and not something I'm going into right now." Jack picked up the tray. "I'm serious, Ianto, stay here. I'll be back when I can. If you get sleepy, there's a room right across the hall that you can use. I checked. It hasn't been used before, at least not by a companion since I've known the Doctor." He kissed his lover softly. "I'll see you when I see you."

Taking care of the Doctor would be a lot easier if he didn't have Ianto to worry about, Jack thought as he made his way back to his room, tray balanced carefully so he didn't spill anything on the floor. The Doctor didn't even know Ianto, and Jack had let him onto the TARDIS without permission. He shut the door to his room behind him and smiled when he saw the table by the bed. "Thanks, beautiful," he said, sliding the tray onto it. Jack went back and locked the door before sitting on the bed next to the Doctor. "Hey, I know you're awake, I saw you trying to look at me. Come on, there's food."

"I told you I'm not hungry," the Doctor said looking at Jack.

"I know you did, but I don't think you've been taking care of yourself, so I made an executive decision," Jack said with a smile. "Doctor, I know you're in pain, but don't do this to me. You're the only one I can count on to always be there. We're both going to live past every person we love and if I don't have you, I can't do it. I'll find a way to end my life, a way that I can't come back from."

The Doctor's eyes darkened. "You can't make me responsible for you, Captain," he said. The ice in his voice would have frozen everything if his eyes hadn't looked so sad at the same moment, even with the darkness swirling about in them. "You have the man you brought with you."

"Ianto is human, Doctor," Jack said. "He is going to age and he's going to die and there's nothing I can do to stop it. Hell, with the work we do at Torchwood, he might not even age. I'm going to live every moment of my time with him as if it's the last because I will never know when I have to say good-bye." He picked up a bowl and held it out. "It's just broth. I thought about trying to make that banana soup you were so fond of, but I didn't know if you still liked them."

The Doctor turned his head away from the bowl. "I'm not hungry, I said."

"Too damn bad," Jack yelled. "I'm not going to let you kill yourself through starvation as pennance for whatever the hell it is you think you did. Sit up and eat the damn soup."

"No."

Jack sighed and put the bowl down. "Fine, we'll do it the hard way then." He pulled the covers off the Doctor and rolled him onto his back before picking the bowl up again. He swigged some of the broth and held it in his mouth, putting the bowl off to the side. The Doctor tried to squirm away from the face that was getting closer to his, not wanting the contact. Jack's hands found his shoulders and warm lips covered his own, broth trickling down into his mouth. "What do you think you're doing?" he demanded when Jack finally pulled back.

"Keeping you alive," Jack replied picking up the bowl again. "This is how most mothers feed their young, Doctor, so if you're going to be a brat about eating, then I'll just have to be your mom."

Any reply the Doctor could have made was cut off when Jack's lips covered his again, more broth flowing into his mouth. Jack kept going until the bowl was empty and the Doctor was sulking on the bed. The immortal sighed. "Doctor, what will it take to make you feel again?" he asked, brushing hair back out of the Doctor's eyes. "I could feel your pain, your rage when I walked into the TARDIS back in Cardiff and realized that you weren't yourself. You'd let the Oncoming Storm close to the surface. I know you're hiding him now. I've seen you like that, Doctor. You don't have to hide anything from me."

"You want me to hurt you?"

"Of course not, because you'd only beat yourself up for what you did later. I just don't want you to hide when it's us. I've told Ianto to stay away from you right now," Jack said. "I'm sorry he's here, but he wouldn't let me leave without him."

"So you brought a strange human onto my TARDIS and took us into the Vortex?" the Doctor asked.

"He won't hurt anything," Jack replied. 

"How do you know that?"

"Because he works for me at Torchwood. He knows better than to go poking around with alien tech."

"Torchwood." The Doctor pushed up in bed. "You let a member of Torchwood onto my TARDIS?"

Jack sighed. "I told you they're not like that now, Doctor," he said. "I changed things enough that the only reason they watch out for you is to let me know you're around. You're not seen as a threat to the Earth anymore, not unless there's someone around I don't know about."

"He's still a member of Torchwood."

"So am I," Jack exclaimed. "Are you going to hold that against me now? Working for Torchwood is the only way that I can help keep this planet safe, Doctor. It's not the organization you knew. It's different now and Ianto is harmless."

"Harmless?" the Doctor demanded, sitting up and pushing Jack back. "No human is harmless, Captain. Buried within their hearts is darkness so foul that you will never know it's there until they show themselves for what they are. Show them the universe and they will still choose to live buried on the Earth."

"This isn't about Ianto, is it?" Jack asked. "This is about Amy and Rory. Doctor, what happened to them?"

"I don't want to talk about it," the Doctor yelled, flinging himself back down onto the bed.

"Oh, Doctor." Jack sat back down on the bed and started to run his fingers through the soft brown hair. "You really love them, don't you? Amy and Rory, I mean. And you hate yourself right now. What can I do to help? What do you need?"

"There's nothing anyone can do," the Doctor said. 

Jack picked up the tea and took a sip to check the temperature. "Doctor, I brought you tea too. Are you going to drink it, or do we have to do it the hard way again?"

"I'm not a baby, Jack." The Doctor sat up, grabbed the cup and drank the tea in three gulps. "There. Happy? Now leave me alone."

"I'm not going to leave you in here to brood," Jack said. "I'd say that's all you've been doing based on how the TARDIS looked when I got here. Do you want to tell me about it, or should I ask her?"

"She wouldn't dare."

"She already showed me a few things," Jack said. "Including Amy and Rory. They look like they're nice people. I bet you had lots of fun with them, didn't you."  
The Doctor glared. "The problem with you, Jack, is that you see everything as sex or in a sexual manner," he said. "I'll have you know that I never once considered either of them in that manner, thank you very much. If that's the only way you're going to talk about them, then you can take us back to Cardiff and leave."

"I didn't mean anything of the kind," Jack said. "I think the real problem here is you're feeling guilty about something and it's eating away at you, Doctor. So you're projecting onto others. I don't care, you know that, but Ianto might have some problems with it if you ever talk to him."

"He hangs around you, Jack, he should be used to it by now."

"Ouch, you wound me," Jack said. He shifted onto the bed until he was sitting with his back against the wall. "Come here, Doc."

"No."

"I'm really starting to hope this is just your mood and not how you regenerated," Jack sighed. "We'll save ravishing until later. Right now I think you just need a hug."

"You're not listening to me about what I need," the Doctor said.

"Yeah, well, that's because you're telling me to leave you alone so you can mourn," Jack said. "I'd be happy to do that if I wasn't scared you would hurt yourself. Have you looked in a mirror lately, Doctor? I think you're punishing yourself for something by not letting yourself feel hungry or tired. What have you been doing, wandering through the halls of the TARDIS in the dark again?"

The Doctor tilted his head back and glared. "What do you mean, again?"

"Back when we first met, I could hear you walking around when you thought Rose and I were asleep," Jack said softly. "I always wondered what demons kept you up like that. Wondered why you were so afraid of sleeping. That's what you've been doing again, isn't it?"

"If I have, it's my business. Jack, what are you doing?"

Jack reached down and grabbed the Doctor under his arms, pulling him up until he had a Doctor blanket over him. "You need to sleep, Doctor, and I know there's nothing I can give you to make you sleep, at least nothing I can think of off the top of my head, so we'll go with my favorite stand-by."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Sure I would." Jack slipped a hand under the loose band of the sleep trousers and rubbed the cool skin he found. "You need to shut that brain of yours off, Doctor. I remember this, too."

"We never did."

"You did," Jack said. "I heard you in the shower a few times, when nightmares of my own were keeping me up." He moved his hand until he could wrap it around the Doctor's cock and started to stroke softly. "Never a name, you were quiet about that, but I heard a few moans and a couple of curses that the TARDIS never translated for me. She's always kept Gallifreyian to herself."

"With, stop that, good reason," the Doctor said. "Jack, stop."

"Will you go to sleep if I stop?" Jack asked.

"I can't sleep."

"Then let me wear you out," Jack said. He could feel the flesh under his hand firming, starting to grow hard. He didn't know if the current regeneration still used the same techniques to fall asleep, but figured it wouldn't hurt to try it. "You need to sleep and eat, Doctor. You need to keep going. There are so many of us who depend on you, and you don't even realize it, do you? What would you have done if the TARDIS hadn't come to me like she did?"

"Jack, stop," the Doctor said, trying to stay still. The new body was more sensitive than his last two regenerations had been, and he was starting to feel heat gathering in him.

"You're almost there," Jack murmured, lips against the Doctor's ear. "Come on, Doctor, let it out. I'll stay right here while you're asleep and help you through the nightmares. You should know by now that I would do anything for you. I'd even let you kill me if I thought it would help you feel better."

The Doctor's hips started to push down against Jack's hand. "No, no, no," he protested. "This isn't right. Jack, this is wrong and you need to stop it now."

"Let yourself feel again, Doctor," Jack said. "You can't shut yourself away for ever. No one wants that. Amy and Rory wouldn't. What would they say if they saw you like this?"

"Amy would ask to join us," the Doctor said.

"There's always room for more," Jack grinned. He nipped the Doctor's ear. "They wouldn't want you to hurt like this, Doctor. I've never met them, but if they're your friends, then they would want you to be happy no matter what happened. Let go, Doctor. Let yourself fall."

The Doctor's body seized and he came, trying to fight the rush that filled him, drawing him towards sleep. It always happened after an orgasm, part of his biology. He would be asleep for hours, with no control over his thoughts.

"I'll be here," Jack whispered. "Sleep, Doctor. Trust me to watch over you."

"No one understands," the Doctor murmured before sleep took him.

Jack pulled back just enough to see the Time Lord's face. "I do, Doctor," he whispered. "I do."


	3. Night

Ianto didn't know what to think. He knew, deep down in a place he wasn't even sure Jack knew existed in Ianto's heart, that Jack was totally and completely in love with the Doctor. Ianto knew there was a lot of history between the two men, but he wasn't sure why he pushed so hard to go along with them. Was it because he was afraid that if he let the blue box leave with Jack inside that he would never see his lover again? Ianto knew that it wasn't because he was concerned for the Doctor, he knew he was being selfish, but Jack was his. Ianto had had enough doubts about his status with Jack when Jack ran off with the Doctor the last time. He was done doubting.

"Hello, Ianto Jones."

Ianto looked up from the dinner he'd cooked himself. "Are you the Doctor?" he asked, staring at the man in front of him.

"Yes, I'm the Doctor. Welcome to my TARDIS. I see you've already made yourself at home," the Doctor said.

"Where's Jack?"

"Asleep." The Doctor moved slowly into the kitchen and sat down at the table, laughing almost bitterly when Ianto stood and moved away. "Are you scared of me, Ianto Jones?"

"Not at all," Ianto lied. He could feel something radiating off the Time Lord, he just didn't know if it was power, or if it was an emotion. "It's just that Jack recommended that I give you some space because you're not feeling well."

"What's your job with Torchwood, Ianto Jones?" the Doctor asked. "Are you the front man for Jack? You're telling me the bare bones of the truth and lying to me at the same time. Oh yes, I can tell when someone is scared and lying to me."

"I generally help with the public to make sure they're all fine and no one remembers anything they shouldn't," Ianto said. "I'm also a field agent and help out in the hub however I can."

"You're also Jack's boyfriend," the Doctor said softly.

"I am, yes," Ianto said.

"How well do you know him, Ianto Jones?"

Ianto jumped, not sure when the Doctor had moved so close to him. "I'm not sure what you mean, sir," he said.

"How much of his past has Jack revealed to you?" the Doctor whispered, stroking a finger over Ianto's cheek.

"Enough," Ianto said, moving away. "Jack's told me enough that I know I can always trust him, even if he is still keeping secrets. I don't pry and neither does he. We have an understanding."

"Does that understanding include sleeping with others?"

"It can, in the right circumstances," Ianto said. He realized he'd been backed into a corner and could only hope that Jack would show up soon to help him because he didn't know what to do.

The Doctor leaned in until their lips were almost touching. "Do those circumstances include touching someone against their will?" he whispered. "Ignoring a person's wishes completely and doing whatever he feels like?"

"Doctor."

Ianto sagged a little when he heard Jack's voice from the door. The Doctor grinned bitterly and turned. "I thought you would sleep longer, Jack," he said.

"The same could be said for you," Jack replied. "Ianto, go get some rest. I'll talk to you in the morning."

Ianto slipped around the Doctor and walked towards Jack, who wasn't even looking at him. "Did you touch him, Jack?" he asked softly.

"Tomorrow, Ianto," Jack said, not taking his eyes off the Doctor.

"You shouldn't yell at him like that," the Doctor said, watching the human shuffle across the hall and into the room Jack had designated for him. "It was a perfecty legitimate question for him to ask his lover, Jack."

"Doctor, I get that you're hurting real bad right now, but that doesn't give you any right to try and make others hurt as well," Jack said. 

"You had no right to do what you did to me, Jack, especially after I told you to stop," the Doctor said.

Jack stepped in close to him. "Did you really want me to stop or were you just afraid of feeling good when Amy and Rory are gone?" he whispered, pulling the Doctor in against him. "You know that I trust you, Doctor. I always have and always will. Why can't you do the same for me?"

"Let me go."

"Doctor, I will ask the TARDIS what happened if you keep this up," Jack said. "Come on, we're taking you back to bed."

"Stop treating me like a child. I'm over 1,200 years old," the Doctor shouted, pulling away.

"Then stop pouting and let your grief out," Jack yelled back. "You can't hold this inside of you forever, it will kill you!"

"Maybe it's time for me to die. Who needs me? Who needs a mad man like me to show up on their door and take them away into danger?" the Doctor demanded. "All I do is get people hurt and killed and I'm not going to do it again. No more, Jack. I don't even know why the TARDIS went to Cardiff in the first place. It's not where I had her plotted."

Jack grabbed the Doctor's hand and pulled him forward until they were almost nose to nose. "Where did you have her plotted then, Doctor? A black hole? The middle of a sun? Somewhere where you could die alone and leave those of us who love you wondering what happened to you?" he asked. "This is you after Rose, Doctor. This is you after that all over again, but it's not bad. Feelings and emotions are never bad, Doctor. You will always be able to love Amy and Rory and know that they loved you too."

"No she didn't." The Doctor pulled away and vanished into a hall Jack had never seen before.

Jack sighed. There was way more going on than he originally thought and he didn't know how to even start to fix it. Probably with Ianto would be his best bet. He rubbed his head and stepped across the hall, knocking on the door. "Hey, it's me."

"I thought we were talking tomorrow," Ianto said.

"Yeah, well, he got away from me and he knows the ship better than I do," Jack said. He locked the door behind him and moved to sit on the bed. "Ianto, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have fallen asleep like I did, I should have been able to stay on guard."

"Did he tell me the truth, Jack? Did you touch him?"

"Jerked him off," Jack said, blunt as ever. "It's something he used to do, back when I was traveling with him, to fall asleep. The Doctor is, well, he's wired differently than anyone else I've ever known and it's not just because he's a Time Lord. I needed to be able to get him to sleep, but he's got walls around his mind that are worse than any castle you could imagine and I'm pretty weak telepathically anyway, so it was the only thing I could think of to get him to sleep."

"Did he tell you no?"

"Yeah."

Ianto drew up in proxy indignation. "Then you should have stopped, Jack," he said. "That's a form of rape that is. How could you do something like that to him?"

"I told you my relationship with him is complicated, Ianto," Jack sighed. "This is why I didn't want you along. I'm going to have to say and do things that are completely out of character for me and I didn't want you to see it. I would have come back, you know. I wouldn't leave you again. I couldn't. But you don't need to see this."

"What else are you going to do?" Ianto asked.

"I don't know," Jack replied. "I don't. I might have to break him again before I can help him heal. I don't know what I'm going to have to do to do that, but it could be enough to make you hate me. I don't want you to hate me, Ianto. I don't. I can't live without knowing you love me."

Ianto sighed and moved to sit next to his lover. "Tell me what happened to him," he said.

"Ianto?"

"Jack, you can't force people into sleeping with you," Ianto said. "I don't care how much you think they need that sort of release, you can't do it. If the Doctor is as hurt as you say he is, then that could be enough to break him forever and he'll never be able to come back from that. But I'm willing to help him however I can. Isn't that what you're always telling me I'm good at?"

"I don't deserve you," Jack murmured, pulling Ianto into a hug. "How did I ever get so lucky, Ianto?"

"You must have been good at some point in your life, sir," Ianto smiled. "Now tell me what's happened?"

"I don't know the full story, but he lost his most recent companions somehow. He said they fell out of their timeline and are locked to him forever, so they're as good as dead," Jack said. "He cares deeply for all of his companions, but there's only been one time when I've seen him so broken over losing one, and that was Rose. You would have seen her, a blond girl standing next to him when he asked you to let loose the rift energy."

"I do remember her, yes," Ianto said. "She's pretty. What happened?"

"They met right after the Time War," Jack said. "The Doctor, well, let's just say he did what he had to there and not go into it deeply, but he hated himself. I think he was trying to die, honestly, when he met Rose and she started to help him heal. We met in 1941 during the Blitz and the Doctor saved my life. I saved his so I thought we were even, but he saw something in me and let me stay here, in the TARDIS. Things happened, he regenerated, I had questions and he lost Rose. When I met him again, she had been locked on a parallel world and he didn't think he would ever see her again. His grief was less visible, but no less deep. I think he had been trying to think of a way they could be together forever. This time around, he regenerated and met a young girl named Amelia Pond. Time problems, she grows up and tries to hit on him because she's scared of getting married. Then she and her husband end up traveling with the Doctor and I think they formed a family unit."

Ianto glanced up when the lights flashed. "What was that?"

"The TARDIS saying yes," Jack said. "Thanks, beautiful. That was only a guess on my part. The Doctor is always better when he has companions with him, otherwise he starts going crazy and, being the only Time Lord left, I don't know what he might try to do."

"Jack, is he really as old as he said he was?"

"You heard that?"

"He was shouting at the time, Jack. The walls aren't that thick," Ianto pointed out.

"They are, actually. I think the TARDIS was letting you hear things," Jack said, glancing at the ceiling. He grinned. "She's always known what's best for the Doctor, even if he doesn't know it. Yes, he's that old, or at least that's a rough estimate. It can be hard to know how old you are when you're a time traveler and are bouncing all through time and space."

Ianto nodded. "So he lost the two people who were closest to him and it's hurt him badly," he said. "That's why he's acting so irrationally."

"I hope so," Jack said. "I don't know him this regeneration, I don't know how close to the surface he lets the Oncoming Storm get. God, Ianto, when I walked in and saw him in close to you, it scared me. He doesn't carry weapons, hates them, but I didn't know what he was planning. He could have done anything to you and I probably wouldn't have been able to stop him." Jack pressed a kiss to Ianto's neck. "I should take you home again."

"No." Ianto turned so he was looking at Jack. "I can help the Doctor, Jack. I know what it's like to lose someone you love. Give me a chance to talk to him."

"Ianto, he could hurt you. He's the Doctor and he could do whatever the hell he wanted to you."

"You'd be close by," Ianto said. He leaned over and kissed Jack, keeping control the whole time and pulled back before Jack could push him over onto his back. "Jack, please, let me try. Maybe I can help him."

"Let me think about it," Jack said. "Look, get some sleep. It's as close to night as you're going to get on the TARDIS. Let me do some research into what happened with Amy and Rory. Maybe I can help him and not put you at risk."

"Jack."

"Ianto, I can come back, you can't," Jack said. He kissed Ianto's forehead. "I don't want to put you at risk if we don't have to. You are so special to offer to help him, but if I can do this, then let me. Please, do not go looking for him tonight. I don't know what he could do to you and if you're down in the ship, then I won't be able to find you."

"All right, Jack, but you promise you'll let me help if you can't?" Ianto asked.

"I promise."

"Wish you could stay with me," Ianto said.

"He'd know, and I don't want that projected to him right now," Jack sighed. "The TARDIS is linked to him, whatever she picks up gets translated over to him and I think the two of us together would put off enough psychic energy to hurt him. Sleep. I won't be far away."


	4. Garden

Ianto lay back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. "Hey, uhm, so I'm not even sure if you have a name or not, but Jack's been calling you beautiful, so I can go with that if you like," he said. He nodded when the lights flashed. "All right then. I want to help the Doctor, but Jack doesn't want me to. I have a feeling it's because he wants a chance to prove to the Doctor that he does need Jack, that there's something lingering that Jack doesn't want to tell me about and that's why he wants me to stay locked in here. I know what it is to feel pain, to feel the pain of losing someone you love so deeply that you'll do anything in your power to save them."

The lights flashed again, but in a pattern that Ianto didn't recognize. "Thank you," he said softly. "So I was thinking, you know, since you know everything that happens here, that you'd know where the Doctor is. Would you be willing to take me to him?"

He could almost sense hesitation in the air. "If you don't think it's a good idea, then I'll stay here," he continued. "I'll do exactly what Jack wants me to, but I'm worried he's going to hurt the Doctor worse than he's hurting already and then there will be nothing any of us can do to bring him back. I'll take full responsibility with the Doctor on this, beautiful. I just want to help him."

If lights could sigh, then they would have. Ianto could almost sense the hesitation in the TARDIS, but finally the lights blinked yes. He grinned and stood up. "All right, lead the way, beautiful."

Ianto didn't feel at all awkward talking to the ship. He hadn't realized that she was alive when he'd read about her, and realized that the files Torchwood kept on the Doctor were vague and, for the most part, wrong. He wondered how much of that was Jack's doing and how much of it was just Torchwood One trying to capture the Doctor. Ianto followed the winding corridors until he could hear water running. "Is that a stream?" he asked softly. "Guess it makes sense, on a ship this large, there's going to be all sorts of things. He's in there, is he?" The lights flashed. "Here goes. Don't let Jack know where I am, will you? Not unless you think it's necessary."  
The door opened onto a garden. Ianto blinked for a minute, the light in the garden far brighter than what had been in the halls. He had a feeling that Jack was going to kill him the next time they ran into each other, and sighed. All he wanted to do was help, and he knew that he would be able to if he could just get the Doctor alone long enough. The path wound down and around towards the sound of the water, and Ianto paused when he caught sight of the Doctor sitting near a stream, laying back with his eyes closed.

"I know you're here, Ianto Jones," the Doctor said softly. 

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to bother you, but I wondered if you wanted to talk," Ianto said. He moved down the small hill to join the Doctor. "I know what it is to lose someone you love so deeply you wonder if you can live without them. I'm not saying I know exactly how you feel, but I know the pain that's likely running through you right now."

"How can anyone know this pain?" the Doctor asked softly. "Not even River understands and she lost her parents. Well, her birth parents. Things were complicated, but they were starting to get on, in the end."

"My girlfriend and I were at Canary Wharf, Doctor," Ianto said. "Her name was Lisa and she was half-converted to a Cyberman."

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said. "I tried my hardest to save everyone, but I wasn't fast enough."

"I don't blame you in the least. I know you lost someone precious that day too. I took Lisa with me when I joined Torchwood 3. It's the main reason I wanted to work for them. A place where I could hide her away, take care of her, try to convert her back to human," Ianto said. "I didn't tell anyone she was there, not even Jack."

The Doctor laughed. Ianto supposed it was supposed to sound amused, but it still just sounded so broken. "You managed to keep a secret from Captain Jack Harkness?" the Doctor asked. "On his own ground? That's very impressive, Ianto Jones. I may have to revise my opinion of you."

"I did, though he made me pay for it in the end," Ianto admitted. "Losing her was like losing a part of me. I felt like I could just curl up and die. I wanted to so badly. Everything around me was dead. I didn't see colors. I couldn't find motivation for anything. I wanted to just be left alone."

"What happened?"

"Jack suspended me and I spent the time in my flat hiding from everything and everyone," Ianto said. "I drank to try and numb the pain, so I don't remember a lot about that time, but I remember waking up one morning and finding Jack in my flat. He'd come to talk."

"Jack wanted to talk?"

"Remarkably, yes. Just talk," Ianto said. "And we did. I think that was the turning point. Before that, I didn't know he'd suffered loses of his own, lost people who meant the world to him and had had no one to help him deal with that pain. I know he didn't tell me everything, but he told me enough to realize that he did understand what I was feeling. I think he's been trying to do the same for you, but he's going off the past and doesn't know everything, does he?"

The Doctor rolled over onto his side so he was facing Ianto. "No, he doesn't. He knows enough about me to know that I won't hurt him, or you, not intentionally. I've felt this pain so many times in my life, I don't know why it hurts so badly this time. I should be moving on, keeping time and the universe safe, but I just can't. I'm tired. So many people have been hurt because of me. What right do I have to take them into danger?"

"Do you kidnap them then?" Ianto asked.

"No. No, I tell them that the TARDIS travels in time and space and that it can be dangerous," the Doctor replied.  
"They travel with you because they want to," Ianto said. "I know I'd love a chance to travel the universe and see even just two of the things that Jack has told me about. If people go in knowing the dangers, it's not your fault when they're hurt."

"Yes it is," the Doctor snapped. "I'm the one who knows about the dangers, I'm supposed to keep them safe, not lead them into danger and let them die."

Ianto moved closer and stretched out next to the Doctor, pulling him into a hug. "You didn't let anyone die, Doctor," he said softly. "I'm sure you did everything you could to try and keep them alive and safe, but something happened that was beyond your control. You're blaming yourself, just like I did when I lost Lisa twice. It's human nature to take blame like this, even if you're not human. If you spend enough time with us, then you're going to start sharing our traits and emotions. Tell me about it?"

"Has Jack ever talked about the weeping angels?"

"No, we've never run across them," Ianto said. "I'm guessing that they're something pretty bad?"

"Bad, yes," the Doctor said. "They are the only ones in the universe who kill you nicely. They send you back in time and you live out the rest of your life in whichever time you end up in. Then they feed on the remaining days you would have had. Can you imagine that, Ianto Jones? The Doctor pulled away and sat up, pulling his knees up to his chest, looking at the water. "Ripped from your home, put in the past when you have no money, no family, friends or house. You have no job, no clothes. Nothing."

"You have life," Ianto said softly. He moved to sit next to the Doctor, but didn't touch him. "Doctor, it is horrible, but at the same time, the victims are still alive and they can make a life for themselves. They didn't die."

"A small comfort."

"Tell me what happened to Amy and Rory, Doctor?" Rory asked softly.

"I made a mistake," the Doctor replied. "I let events get out of my control and they suffered for it. I thought with River that things would be okay, yet they weren't. I tried everything I could think of, and it wasn't good enough." He jumped up and started pacing. "I wasn't good enough. The Angels won, Ianto Jones. The they took Amy and Rory from me, and Amy created a fixed point in time. I can no more go and fetch them than I can reverse the Time War. Than I could save the first colony on Mars."

"What does a fixed point mean, Doctor?" Ianto asked. 

The Doctor paused and stared at him. Ianto shrugged. "I don't know much about time travel," he said. "I don't mean to take away from your pain, but I'd like to fully understand what happened."

"A fixed point in time is an event that can never be changed, no matter what. I tried to change one my last regeneration because I was so tired of losing everyone," the Doctor said, closed hand against his forehead, thumping softly. "I knew that I should have walked away and left them to die, but I just couldn't do it. I endangered the flow of time for how humanity ventures into the stars to save three humans. I had spoken to one of them about what happened, about the future, how important she was, but it wasn't enough. She walked away from me, into her daughter's home and killed herself. The future adjusted for the suicide, but nothing else changed. Her granddaughter still achieved everything she should have and the timeline remained stable. I regenerated not long after that."

"So because Amy being taken by the angels is a fixed point, you can't go and get her?" Ianto asked softly.

"There was a book," the Doctor said. He started pacing, hand still against his head. "I bought this book because I liked how the cover looked, never once realizing that the main character was River. That book should have been my first clue that something was wrong, but I didn't pay any attention to it. I'm a Time Lord, I'm supposed to see the flow of time for everything, but I was blind to that book. River probably did something with it before she sent it to Amy to publish to keep me from realizing what it was. She'd be able to do that."

Ianto was completely lost, only because he didn't know the Doctor's friends. "Is River a Time Lord?" he asked.

"No," the Doctor said. "No, she's not, but she has some powers of the Time Lords because she was conceived in the Time Vortex. She can travel in time, but her timeline is backwards to mine so we're always meeting at what could be called the wrong times. Time travel is more complex than most people realize, Ianto Jones."

"But River is Amy and Rory's baby."

"She was stolen and taken to the future to be used as a weapon against me," the Doctor said. "We didn't realize it until later, but she was able to break out of her programming with some help from me and become a dear friend. Technically she's my wife, but we would kill each other within a week if we tried to live together. I know she has another life, just as I do. She was with us when Amy was taken."

Ianto stood and went over to the Doctor. "Tell me exactly what happened," he said softly. He pulled on the Doctor's hands and led him back to a spot where they could sit together. "As much as you can stand right now and let me know if you need a break."

"How do you still have such a warm and caring heart, Ianto Jones?" the Doctor asked staring at him.

"It's just how I am, I think," Ianto replied. "The most important thing for you to realize right now, Doctor, is that you're not alone. You have people who love you and want to see you happy again. I know you don't feel like you'll be there any time soon, but you will some day."

The Doctor took a deep breath and started talking about New York City and the book, telling Ianto about the Weeping Angels and what all had happened that day. Ianto held his hands and listened to him, never interrupting, just letting him talk. In the doorway, Jack sat and watched them and tried to convince himself that he wasn't the least bit jealous.


	5. Things are cooking

The Doctor talked himself out and fell asleep, head cushioned on Ianto's lap. Ianto shifted through everything the Doctor had told him about the events in New York, the angels and the Ponds. The story wasn't finished, but Ianto had managed to pick up on the emotions coloring the Doctor's speech. He loved Amy, probably more than he'd even admitted to himself, but Amy loved her husband and the Doctor hadn't realized how deeply the bond between the Ponds ran. Running a hand through the Doctor's hair, Ianto sighed. His fear was right, the Doctor's heart was very close to shattering and it wouldn't take much to push him over the edge for good.

"We should get him to bed."

Ianto jumped. "Where did you come from, Jack?" he asked softly.

"The TARDIS let me know that you'd come down here and I followed to make sure that the Doctor didn't hurt you," Jack replied. "I've been sitting just over the hill for a while listening to make sure you were okay."

"So that means you heard everything that we said," Ianto sighed. "Jack, you should have just left us alone to talk. The Doctor isn't going to hurt me, but you could hurt him. I think you need to leave this to me for a while, Jack. Please, don't do anything that's going to hurt the Doctor worse."

"Like what?" Jack asked. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at Ianto. 

"Trying to rape him," Ianto replied. "He doesn't want to be touched right now, Jack."

"Then what are you doing?"

"The best thing I can," Ianto sighed. He knew that Jack was frustrated and hurting, pride more than anything else, but he also knew how Jack felt about the Doctor. He had hoped that Jack wouldn't know he was talking to the Doctor and made a note to talk with the TARDIS when he had a chance. "More likely the only thing I can."

Jack turned and walked back towards the door. "Then you do whatever it is you think you have to do," he said. "I'll be in my room."

Ianto watched his lover leave and closed his eyes. It wasn't their first fight, it wouldn't be their last, but it really wasn't the time for Jack to be acting so hurt. "He really is a unique man, isn't he?" the Doctor asked softly.

"I thought you were asleep," Ianto said, looking down at the Time Lord.

"I can't sleep, not anymore. Not without nightmares," the Doctor sighed, sitting up. "I keep seeing that moment over again whenever I close my eyes."

"Do you want something to eat?" Ianto asked. "I can cook you up something that will be light on your stomach but give you some energy too. It's something Lisa taught me to make."

The Doctor looked at Ianto closely. "I'm not hungry," he said.

"You shouldn't starve yourself," Ianto said. "I know what it is to feel all the food turn to dust in your mouth, taste nothing but the pain and suffering of the one you loved so deeply and are missing until it feels like your heart is missing, but you have to fight through that. It's hard, so very hard to do, but you'll feel better for it."

"Do I have to go to the kitchen?" the Doctor asked.

"No, of course not," Ianto replied. "Do you want to stay here and I'll bring you the meal?"

"No, I don't want Jack knowing where I am," the Doctor said. "Ask the TARDIS and she'll bring you to me. I'll have a talk with her to make sure it's just you."

Ianto nodded. "Okay, then I'll meet you wherever she brings me," he said. "Beautiful, will you take me back to the kitchen?"

"Beautiful?"

"It's what Jack calls her," Ianto said, flushing. "I didn't know what else to try and she seems to like it. What do you call her?"

The Doctor blushed. "Sexy," he admitted.

"I can see why," Ianto said. He leaned in and kissed the Doctor's forehead softly. "Find your safe place, Doctor, and I'll bring you something extra special."

"I think you already have," the Doctor whispered, making sure the man walking away from him didn't hear the words. The last thing he needed to do was fall for Jack Harkness' boyfriend. That would be a problem beyond even his years. Jack had been right, the Doctor tried to send the TARDIS into a super nova, just wanting to end it all. He was the last of his people, the one who killed them all, his companions of late had either died or been hurt badly enough that they ran from him forever, and there was no point to anything. He had options. The Doctor always had options, but the super nova was the easiest to try first. River would survive the rewrite of time, she had friends who would help her. He knew that River was hurting as badly as he was, possibly even more though she hadn't spent as much time with Amy and Rory as he had. It wasn't just losing them, it was Amy leaving him like she did. The Doctor hadn't realized exactly how much he cared for Amy until he didn't have her anymore. He wanted them back, wanted her back, and there wasn't a way to do that.

He walked down the hall, hand on the wall. "Sexy, I don't want Jack to find me. I can't trust him right now, I don't know what to do with him, but I'll have to come up with something," the Doctor said. "Ianto can come to me, but not Jack. Don't show him where I am again. You saw what he did, what he wants, and I just can't. Not again." He turned down a corridor that appeared out of nowhere. "Jack recalls my other regenerations. It's been years since I saw him last, years since I've had any contact with him and he isn't understanding me. He won't listen to me. I just hope that he doesn't do anything to Ianto when the lad gets back up there. Keep him safe for me, sexy. Jealousy can make humans do the stupidest things."  
****

Ianto was a little worried when the kitchen door closed behind him, but shrugged and turned to his task. It wouldn't take him long to make the soup and crackers that he wanted to. Store bought crackers were all well and good, but at the same time, he knew that he would be able to make better ones that would help the Doctor feel better. Ianto always seemed to feel better when he was taking care of someone, and wondered what that said about him. He knew that he enjoyed caring for people, cuddle them in his heart until they were feeling better and watching them grow stronger. 

"Ianto?"

"Jack."

"Can you open the door?" Jack asked. "It doesn't seem to want to work for me."

"That's strange, I didn't even realize there was a door there," Ianto replied. He put the dough down and wiped his hands off. "Beautiful, open the door. It'll be okay."

He felt the hesitation in the air again, but the door swung open. Jack smiled. "Thanks. Where's the Doctor?"

"I dunno, he stayed down in the garden when I came up here," Ianto said. "I thought that I'd cook something for all of us and maybe we could all get back to some level of sanity around here. Well, as sane as it gets in a ship that's another dimension on the inside and has a kitchen that I can't make heads or tails of anyway."

Jack sat down at the table and leaned forward. "You like him, don't you, Ianto?" he asked with a grin.

"Of course I like him, it's hard not to," Ianto said. He rolled out the dough and started to trim it. "Beautiful, where's the oven? Thanks. Even with as much as he's hurting right now, it's easy to see the person underneath it all."

"I've never heard of the weeping angels before today, Ianto. It sounds like they're pretty nasty and I hope we never run into them," Jack said. "I can't imagine what the Doctor is going through."

"It's more than you can imagine," Ianto said.

"I dunno, I can imagine what I would go through if I lost you or the Doctor," Jack said. "What are you making over there anyway?"

"Something that Lisa taught me," Ianto admitted. "I think, if the Doctor comes out to join us, it'll be something that'll sooth his stomach."

Jack stood up and walked over, putting his hands on Ianto's hips, pulling his lover in a little. "You wouldn't be lying to me, would you, Ianto?" he asked softly.

"Why would I want to lie to you?" Ianto asked in reply, looking Jack in the eye and trying to keep his body from responding to the heat against him. "I'm just here cooking, Jack. There's no reason for me to lie to you."

"So if I wanted you right here, in the kitchen while you're working, what would you say?"

"That it's unsanitary and messy," Ianto said with a long-suffering tone. "The exact same thing I say to you whenever you try to seduce me when I'm making coffee for the team."

"What if I promised to keep the mess to a minimum?" Jack asked, grinding against Ianto a little.

"Wait until I'm finished cooking and then we'll see," Ianto said. "I don't want any of this to burn and I have to pay attention to what I'm doing. This is to help the Doctor, Jack. Isn't that more important than putting your mark on me? I'm yours, whatever I am to you, and the Doctor knows that."

Jack let Ianto turn back to the counter, but wrapped him in a hug from behind, looking over his shoulder. "I'm sure he does, but what if he wants you, Ianto? What would you do then, if he said that sleeping with him would help him feel better?"

"I'd ask you," Ianto said. "If you said no, then I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't cheat on you, Jack. You have nothing to worry about."

"Of course I have something to worry about," Jack said. "I have the Doctor to worry about, you to worry about and what might happen to the both of you. Although I'll admit, the thought of you sleeping with the Doctor is really hot, Ianto. Maybe we'll have to talk about this."

"Jack, I said you have to wait until I'm done cooking," Ianto said, with the patience of a man who had an insatiable lover. He reached back and stilled Jack's hips. "You can get off thinking about your lover with the Time Lord you've desired for who knows how long in your own room if you have to."

"Spoil-sport," Jack said. He nipped Ianto's neck and moved back to the table. "So how are you going to be sure the Doctor shows up to eat this?"

Ianto put the crackers on a pan and slid them into the oven. "The TARDIS is going to keep this ready for me," he said. "You and I can eat and he'll show if he wants to. We can't force him to eat, Jack, no matter how much we may want to. You have to remember that he's in mourning and it takes everyone differently."

"He has to keep his strength up," Jack said. "That's just as important."

"The Doctor will eat when he's hungry," Ianto insisted. He added some chicken to the pot boiling on what was probably a stove and turned back to make a new dough after lowering the temperature of the water. "Until then, all we can do is be here when he needs to talk and support him through everything else."


	6. Library

Jack woke up suddenly and looked around. He was lying on his bed in his room in the TARDIS with no clue how he got there, and he was completely alone. He jumped up and ran to the kitchen. "Ianto!" he yelled when he saw the room was empty. He dashed across the hall and found the bedroom empty too. "Damn it!" Jack hit the wall and winced. "Sorry, beautiful, I didn't mean it. You know that."

The lights flashed at him in irritation. Jack sighed. "I just wasn't thinking, beautiful. Do you know where Ianto is?"

The lights flashed again. "Well, will you take me to him?"

The lights went out completely. Jack would have fallen over in shock if he hadn't been expecting the answer. "Why not? Did he ask you not to tell me where he was?" He watched the lights for a minute. "Okay then, it's the Doctor, isn't it? He told you to keep me away from Ianto." The lights went out again. "He wants you to keep me away from him? Why? Oh, don't even bother answering that one, I know why. It's because of what I did to him last night, isn't it? All right, would you be willing to show me the files you have on the weeping angels and fixed points in time?"

The lights flashed. "Thank you." Jack rubbed his forehead. "I don't suppose you know what it was Ianto used to knock me out, do you? It's giving me a headache."

The sink turned on in the kitchen. Jack sighed and went to fill up a glass to drink. The TARDIS was anything but subtle some days.  
****

Ianto felt bad for drugging Jack, but it was the only way he could think of to get away from his lover and take food to the Doctor. In spite of what he had said to Jack, Ianto was worried about the Time Lord and wanted to make sure that he did at least try to eat something. There was only so much he could do to help the Doctor overcome the deep pain he felt at losing his companions, but Ianto was determined to do all of it, and anything else the Doctor asked him for if he thought it would help.

He followed the halls, knowing the TARDIS would take him to the Doctor, and ended up by what he thought was a lake, except for the books along the far wall. The Doctor was sitting in an arm chair near the books, watching him. "Welcome, Ianto Jones, to the library," he said softly.

"The library?" Ianto asked, looking around. "Why is there a lake in the library?"

"It's a swimming pool," the Doctor replied. "I got rid of it twice and it keeps coming back. I don't know why."

"Would it be all right if I took a bit of a swim later?"

"If you want," the Doctor said. He looked at the tray Ianto set down on the table next to his chair. "What did you bring?"

"Slow cooked chicken with home-made noodles and hand made crackers with herbs," Ianto said. "Start with a cracker and see how your stomach handles it. I have tea and soda pop too, both of those are good for sick stomachs."

The Doctor picked up a cracker and turned it over in his fingers a few times. "You made these by hand?" he asked softly.

"Yes. Lisa taught me how to make them back when we first started dating," Ianto replied. "When I make them, I feel like she's still with me, even though she's been dead for a couple of years now."

"You still miss her?"

"Of course, I'll always miss her, but at the same time, I know that she wouldn't want me to hide away and mourn her for the rest of my life," Ianto said. "She has a place in my heart and it'll never be replaced by anyone else." He took a bite of the chicken soup he'd made and leaned back in his chair. "I'll tell you something that I've never told anyone else, Doctor. As time has passed, I find that I remember the best moments with Lisa and it's harder to remember how she died."

The Doctor pulled out a pair of round glasses, slipped them on and stared at Ianto closely. "I've seen many people converted into cybermen, Ianto Jones, and have never once managed to forget how they suffered and died. If you've managed it, you are truly a remarkable human."

"Her first death is really the true death," Ianto admitted. "The second one at Torchwood 3 was one that she shouldn't have had to go through. I wasn't thinking clearly when I took her with me. I know that now, but at the time all I could think about was finding a way to save her. I have Jack now and I think he helps me a lot."

"Did Jack replace Lisa for you?"

"No, of course not," Ianto said. "No one ever replaces another one, all you can do is treasure the memories of the one you've lost and realize that the one thing anyone who loves you, truly loves you, will want you to be happy."

The Doctor picked up a bowl of soup and studied it closely. "How can anyone be happy without the ones they love?" he asked.

"It's not easy, it's probably one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, and it can take years to remember how to be happy, but it can happen," Ianto said. He put his bowl down and picked up some tea. Ianto noticed that the Doctor was eating and wanted to keep the conversation going for as long as he could. He didn't think that the food would settle on the Doctor's stomach, but it would be a start. "One day at a time, one hour follows after the next, each minute followed by another. You can't count them or you'll go insane, but surviving them can feel like a major accomplishment when you realize you've completed another day."

"I feel the beat of each second everywhere," the Doctor said. "I see what was, what is and what may be. I'm a Time Lord, it's not just a title. People look at me and, when I'm Earth, assume I'm a human. When I'm elsewhere, I'm a myth. My people aren't remembered except in stories. I'm the last of the Time Lords, I've out-lived all my companions except one, and right now I don't want him around me."

"Jack," Ianto sighed. "The thing to remember about Jack is that he has a really bad habit of acting first and thinking things through later. He's also always thinking about sex and thinks that it will solve anything a gun won't."

"That's remarkably accurate," the Doctor said. He set the other bowl to the side and looked at the drinks. "Which would you recommend for me, Ianto Jones?"

"The soda pop," Ianto said. "How do you feel? Any nausea or discomfort?"

"No, I think your soup will do what you hoped it would," the Doctor said. "How did you manage to get down here without being followed?"

Ianto flushed. "I drugged Jack's dinner," he said. "I've done it a time or two before when he wouldn't sleep for days at a time, working himself ragged and nothing would calm him down enough to sleep. I hate to do it, it always makes me feel guilty, but at the same time, I knew that it would be easy enough to do."

"You are a most remarkable human, Ianto Jones," the Doctor said. "Would you drug me if you thought it what I need?"

"No. You need to be able to wake up from nightmares," Ianto said. "The last thing I would do to you is drug you."

The Doctor studied him closely for a long moment. Ianto sat and stared back, knowing that the Doctor was looking for something and would either find it or he wouldn't. There was nothing more Ianto could say on the topic. It was a moment where the Doctor would have to decide to either trust Ianto or flee farther into the TARDIS and not venture out until both he and Jack were gone.  
"Thank you," the Doctor finally said softly. He leaned back in his chair. "Tell me, Ianto Jones, do you know why Jack wouldn't listen to me when I told him to stop?"

"He was worried about you," Ianto sighed. "He told me that's what you used to do to fall asleep when you were having difficult nights and he wanted to help you sleep. It was probably one of the single stupidest things he's done in the last week or so, although maybe slightly lower down the list than chasing me through the Hub naked trying to pour oil over me."

"I don't think I want to know why he was doing that," the Doctor said. "I disliked the feelings he caused in me. His touch made my stomach feel sick, Ianto Jones. Do you blame me for hiding away?"

"Not at all," Ianto said. "Although I don't know what's going to happen when I go back out to get more food. He's going to know what I did and won't take any food or drink from me now."

"This will be enough for me," the Doctor said. "I don't know how I'm going to face Jack again, Ianto Jones. He liked two me's ago the best, the first me that he met. The last me was too, blunt, for him and he hasn't met me since I regenerated. When I regenerate, many things do stay the same, but some things change as well. Certain tastes and preferences vary from regeneration to regeneration. I'm not as fond of bananas as I was. I still like them, just not as much."

"Doctor, forgive me if this is too blunt, but does that relaxation technique still work for you in this regeneration?" Ianto asked. "I'm not excusing what Jack did, he should have stopped as soon as you said the word, but is that something that would help you to sleep?"

"What exactly are you offering, Ianto Jones?"

"Jack did tell me that he thought the idea of the two of us sleeping together was hot, but I think that was just him talking," Ianto said, flushing red. "I was just curious for future reference."

The Doctor stared at him again, ageless eyes tearing layers away from him until he felt like he was completely bare before the Time Lord. "Go for your swim, Ianto Jones," the Doctor finally said. "The TARDIS will be able to make more food for us down here if we want it."

"Do you want to join me?" Ianto asked. 

"Not right now. Enjoy the water. I'm just going to rest."


	7. In the heart

The Doctor sat in his chair and watched Ianto swimming. He hadn't know why the TARDIS brought the pool back, other than a vague thought that she liked it and wanted to have it around. It wasn't something that he would argue with her about, so he just left it alone, even if he didn't like having it in the library. The TARDIS kept his books safe, and that was enough for him. The Doctor didn't know what to make of Ianto Jones. He'd met a lot of humans in his long life, a lot of people who had touched him in one way or another, and yet he felt that Ianto was very different. There was something about the human that made the Doctor want to study him and find out what all was hidden away within the man. Not kill him, dissect him or anything that would hurt him, the Doctor didn't want to do that, but he wanted to know how Ianto could have lost the woman he loved and managed to move on while staying the kind and caring person he seemed to be. The Doctor knew that Ianto wasn't lying to him about anything, he was telling the full truth when it came to talking about his own losses, and the Doctor was amazed at the depth of emotions Ianto seemed to be showing. For all he hadn't been happy when he found out there was a member of Torchwood on his TARDIS, the Doctor was very glad Ianto was around.

He didn't know what to do about Jack. He knew that the immortal loved him, had always wanted to be with him, but thought that after the events in the year that never was, Jack had rejected him. The Doctor didn't blame Jack for not wanting to travel if he had Ianto to go back to; Ianto was enough to make anyone want to come home, but he was confused. Jack had turned away from him, seeming to want to sever all ties with him after that year, and yet he was on the TARDIS when the Doctor hadn't expected him to be. The Doctor had found Jack handsome back when they first met, and if it hadn't been for his deep, conflicted feelings about Rose, the Doctor might have acted on them. There were nights he'd wanted to, yearned to sneak into Jack's room and take him up on what was offered through their flirting. The Doctor had been so sure that Jack wouldn't have turned him away, but he never was able to bring himself to take that final step in their relationship. Then things had grown so complicated, Jack died, the Doctor regenerated, Rose and everything else. When the Doctor saw Jack lying in front of him on the planet at the end of the universe, his hearts had doubled their beats for a few minutes. He never realized how much he missed Jack until he had the man in front of him again, and it seemed to be too late. Jack shone so brightly, a fixed point in time and space, and the Doctor spoke the unvarnished truth, hurting Jack in the process. Was it any wonder that the man opted to leave when everything was over? The Doctor thought that Jack wanted to travel, see time and space, and had hidden his pain when Jack returned to his team.

Now the Doctor was feeling an attraction to Jack's boyfriend. The reason Jack stayed behind on Earth. What would it have been like, having Jack along with him? Would the Doctor had gone so far off his path if he'd had the immortal with him the whole time? Facing Davros was worth it only because it meant he could see Jack again. And be rejected again. Such mixed signals from the immortal, the Doctor didn't know what to think.

"Are you okay?"

The Doctor started slightly. Ianto was still in the pool, but he'd swum over and was at the edge closest to the Doctor. "I'm just thinking," the Doctor replied.

"Those must be some pretty deep thoughts. You were frowning. Do you want to talk about it?" Ianto asked.

"How would you feel if I was thinking about how I feel about Jack?" the Doctor asked in reply. "I tried to get him to travel with me again, Ianto Jones, but he chose to go back to you. I wonder if he knows how much I do love him?"

"I think he does," Ianto said. He pushed up and sat on the edge of the pool, not at all ashamed that he was naked. Hanging around Jack tended to kill any sort of taboo against nudity very quickly. "He calls you his doctor, Doctor. Did you know that?"

"Has he done it recently?" the Doctor asked.

"Once, about four months ago," Ianto replied. "It was just the two of us and he was talking about how he first learned about the rift in Cardiff. That sounded like quite the eventful night."

"It was. That wasn't me he was talking about, Ianto Jones. That was the me he first met, the me from 1941."

"You're still the Doctor though, aren't you?"

"My heart is the same, well, my hearts are the same," the Doctor said. "My beliefs and the very core of me stays the same, but regeneration does change us. There was one Time Lord who used to alternate between male and female, though his birth body was male. Each form is a unique person, built from previous incarnations. The Doctor that Jack is remembering is one fresh from the Time War, broken in spirit and very, very dark. Manic. Prone to bursts of emotion that would scare everyone around him. That's not me, no matter how dead I feel after losing Amy and Rory. Jack's Doctor did die, died to save Rose and regenerated as a result."

"Okay, so what you're saying is that you love Jack, you have for a while, but you don't think he knows it because he doesn't know this you," Ianto said.

"Close enough, yes. I can see why he would choose to return to you, Ianto Jones. You're one of the rare bright points in the universe," the Doctor said. "A person who makes the universe a better place simply by living. It's not everyone who can do this."

Ianto smiled and ducked his head. "I'm just me," he said. "I like taking care of people, seeing them smile is really important to me. I hope you'll be able to show me your real smile one of these days."

"I don't know how that could possibly happen," the Doctor said. "Do you think I should try and talk to Jack, Ianto Jones?"

"You have monitors all over this lovely ship of yours," Ianto said. "Could you use one of them so you wouldn't have to be in the same room with him for your first conversation? I don't know how comfortable you would be having him close to you right now, unless you really want to. Then I'll be right with you to make sure he doesn't do anything you don't want him to."

The Doctor sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I don't know what I should say to him. I don't want to cause a larger rift between us."

"Be honest," Ianto said.

"What if I say something that makes you uncomfortable, Ianto Jones?" the Doctor asked. "I don't want to do that."

Ianto grabbed the towel the TARDIS had provided for him and wrapped it around his waist, moving back over towards the Doctor. "There's very little you could say that would make me uncomfortable, Doctor," he said. He sat down in his chair and leaned forward. "I could feel you watching me while I was swimming. It doesn't bother me. It might have, before I realized the truth about my likes and dislikes, but it doesn't now. I love Jack, nothing will change that, but that doesn't mean I can't love you as well."

"You hardly know me, so how can you love me?" the Doctor asked. "I'm the Oncoming Storm, the Predator of the Daleks, the Destroyer of Worlds, the Bringer of Death. I bring nothing but pain to those around me, Ianto Jones. You should be trying to run away from me, not sitting there open and vulnerable to pain."

"It seems to me that you bring far more hope and inspiration to those around you, Doctor," Ianto said. "I've heard Jack and Martha talk about you, you know. They never say anything bad."

"They wouldn't. The last time I saw Jack, in my previous incarnation, I was trapped by an old enemy of mine, one I had believed gone, but he appeared again," the Doctor said softly. "He talked to me about my Children of Time, what I do to those who travel with me, those I eventually leave behind, and how much I change them. I didn't want to believe him, but the evidence ended up before my very eyes. Every single companion I had with me was willing to kill to solve the problem. Rose was trapped with me, but I had seen her with the gun, knew that she considered violence an acceptable option. Martha was ready to blow up the planet to save them from the daleks. Jack and Sarah Jane were ready to blow up the dalek fleet to stop Davros. None of them once thought of a way to take control of the situation without violence, without causing harm to someone. Even the meta-crisis me committed genocide in the end. He was probably the most dangerous and damaged of them all. How can you say that I bring hope and inspiration when my former companions are all so willing to kill, Ianto Jones?"

"Are you always able to solve every problem you face without violence?" Ianto asked.

"No, of course not, but I try to," the Doctor replied. "Death is never the first option I look for when dealing with anyone, trying to stop a threat to others. There are so many worlds in his universe of ours, Ianto Jones, that there is a home for everyone. I just want to help keep this universe safe."

"Don't we all?" Ianto asked. "I think maybe you should try and sleep before you talk to Jack."

"I can't sleep," the Doctor said. "I never sleep much anyway, but since losing Amy like I did, I haven't been able to sleep at all."

"Would it help to have someone with you?" Ianto asked. "We can sleep fully dressed, but I could hold you and it might be enough to help you sleep. I wouldn't touch you, not like Jack did, just hold you and give you some support if you have a nightmare."

The Doctor sighed. "I don't think it will work, but we could try," he said. "There's a bed back in the shelves. I've spent weeks down here before. The TARDIS decided that I didn't need to sleep on the floor anymore, so she made me a bed."

"If it's anything like that pool, I bet it's amazing," Ianto said. "Let me shower and I'll get dressed. Won't be long."

"Don't rush on my account. I'll be here waiting for you."


	8. Jack's mistake

The Doctor had to admit it was nice to be held, but it wasn't enough to make him tired. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the graveyard and Amy turning away from the weeping angel, vanishing away into time, leaving no way for him to follow her. It was only because of the book that he knew Amy did end up in the same time as Rory, that they found each other. They were together and he was alone. The family he'd built up, loved, gone in a second. He still had River, but he didn't know whether or not he could trust her completely. There were still so many mysteries to solve with her, and he just didn't have the energy. River would have stayed for a while, had he asked, but he wanted to be alone. No matter how much the Doctor wanted to die, he had a feeling there were a couple of fixed points in time holding him in the universe, and a part of him wondered if his meeting River for the first time, from her timeline, was one of them. He'd managed to rewrite time for some of their interactions, but not enough. 

He managed to slip out of the bed without waking Ianto and stood for a minute, just looking at the human sleeping in the bed the TARDIS had made for him so many years ago. If it was possible, Ianto looked even sweeter and more innocent when he was asleep, and the Doctor didn't want to do anything to take those away from him. He sighed and went back towards the pool, and a monitor that was there. The Doctor wanted to talk to Jack, but didn't know what he was going to say to the immortal. How could he tell Jack that he loved him, had always loved him, when Jack seemed to have all of his own ideas about how their interactions and relationship was going to go? Was it even worth it to try and talk around to a common point, or should he just send Ianto back out into the control room and tell the TARDIS to go back to Cardiff? He was used to being alone. He might not always like it, but he had spent more time alone in his long life than he had with companions. It wasn't something he minded, not anymore.

"Link into the monitor in the control room for me, sexy," the Doctor said softly. "Full audio and video feed. I don't think I can put this off any longer."

The monitor in front of him came to life and showed Jack sitting in the jumpseat reading something. The immortal looked relaxed and at ease, but the Doctor knew him well enough to know that he wasn't, that there was a line of tension running through the body that looked draped over the seat. "Jack."

Jack jumped and looked around. "Doctor, where are you?"

"On the monitor, Jack," the Doctor said. "What were you reading?"

"Oh, the TARDIS found me information on fixed points in time and also the weeping angels," Jack said. "She was pretty firm that she wasn't going to show me where you are, so I needed something to do to pass the time. Where are you, anyway?"

"I'm deep in my ship," the Doctor said. "I asked the TARDIS to make sure I could be alone while I thought, Jack."

"Oh yeah, is that why you let Ianto join you?" Jack asked. "Where is he, anyway? What have you two been doing all this time?"

"He's asleep," the Doctor replied. "He tried to get me to sleep as well, but I can't. So I thought we should talk."

"How did he try to get you to sleep?"

"By asking," the Doctor said. "I seem to remember a time, Jack, when you said you had never doubted me and you never would."

"Yeah, well, that was before you abandoned me on a space station full of the dead, told me I was wrong and left me to the mercy of the Master," Jack said.

The Doctor flinched back as if Jack had physically hit him. His shoulders dropped, as did his eyes and head. "I'm sorry, Jack, I shouldn't have made contact with you," he said softly. "I'll have the TARDIS take you both home and you won't have to see me again. Cut the feed, dear."  
************

Jack started cursing when the monitor in front of him went dark. He'd been hoping to draw the Doctor out into a fight, another argument about his immortal status, like the ones they'd had far too often to even bother counting anymore, not send his farther down the path he'd been walking into the darkness. "Beautiful, will you please take me to him?" Jack asked. "Please, I need to let him know what I was doing there, that I don't really blame him for anything. That was really stupid on my part and I didn't mean any of it."

The seat under him came to life and Jack was dumped onto the glass floor. "Guess that's a no, huh," he said, not bothering to pick himself up. "I guess I'll just stay here for a bit. Go ahead and tell me what an idiot I am. I deserve it."

"You deserve more than that, you stupid, arrogant, blind, selfish, perverted...." the voice trailed off into Welsh curses, ones that the TARDIS didn't translate.

"Breathe, Ianto," Jack said. "You on the monitor?"

"You're damn lucky I am on the monitor and not in the same room with you, you bastard," Ianto snapped. "What the hell were you thinking saying something like that to a man who is so depressed? What did you think you would accomplish by knocking another support out from under him like that?"

"I was trying to get him to fight me," Jack said. He sat up and caught sight of his lover's face and winced. "I had hoped he would start arguing with me."

"This isn't the man you know, you, you...." Ianto trailed off into Welsh again. He finally paused for breath. "I just spent the past two days trying to get him to be able to look someone else in the eye, open up a little about what happened to him, and now he's gone again. I have no idea where he's vanished to this time, no idea where to even start looking and it's all because of you. This is not your Doctor anymore, Jack. He's regenerated. He's changed. He's insecure, in pain, and needs love. Not hate-filled words thrown at him. Don't you have any idea how guilty he must feel about what happened to you during the year that never was? You told me what happened to you then, what you suffered at the hands of the Master. Don't you think that if he could have spared you that, he would have? He was tortured too and never told you about it. Did you even stop to ask him how he was or did you just run off back to the Hub and leave him behind? How could you think that he wasn't just as affected by that year?"

"He's told you about it?" Jack asked.

"Of course not, but it doesn't take a genius to figure it out," Ianto yelled. "You told me he's the last of his race, suddenly another Time Lord appears, one of his oldest friends, and oldest enemies. You told me how he cried as he held the Master's body. The only time he showed any emotion during that year. Didn't you once wonder about that? I did, when you told me about it. I wondered how anyone, alien or not, could experience all of that and not show emotion. The Doctor had to have been screaming inside the whole time, feeling everything that happened to every person around him, and never once gave the Master the satisfaction of seeing how much it all hurt him. How could you just throw that back in his face?"

"I told you, I was trying to get him to show some emotion. He never once backed down from a fight with me about how wrong I am, or things I did during that year," Jack said. "I thought if I could get him to argue with me then maybe I could get him to open up a little about what happened with Amy and then we could talk about it. I never thought he would just shut down like that. I've never seen him do that before."

The cursing started up again, and Jack wondered if Ianto was repeating himself, or if Welsh really did have that many swear words. It was possible that Ianto was just listing foods or something, Jack wasn't that great with Welsh, but he doubted that potato could ever be said with such anger and venom, no matter what the language. "Ianto, I get it. I screwed up. You yelling at me like this isn't helping anything," Jack said.

"Sometimes I think it's the only time you pay any attention to me," Ianto said. "The Doctor, before I tried to get him to at least rest so he doesn't collapse, was worried about saying the wrong thing to you, Jack, because he didn't want to make you mad. He told me that he didn't want to hurt you. Funny how the one who is in so much pain already is worried about others, when he could be focused on himself and no one else. Then you had to go and make it worse. I don't think it'll be possible to fix this now. I heard what he said. We're going back to Cardiff, Jack. He wants us off the TARDIS and I doubt he'll show unless we leave. Then what's going to happen? He'll kill himself, that's what will happen, and this time I think it really would be your fault."

"We just don't leave," Jack said. "The TARDIS is mad at me too, but she hasn't made any move to kick me out of here. You find the Doctor, Ianto, and tell him what I was doing. I don't care what you have to do, convince him that we're not leaving him alone. I'll try and get the TARDIS to take us back up into the vortex while you're doing that."

"I'm not here to clean up your messes, Jack," Ianto said. "The only reason I'm going after the Doctor is because I've realized something important, and that's that I love him. This him, which I doubt you even see."

Jack stared at the dark monitor, wondering if it would be better to just chuck himself out the door into the time vortex. It would probably hurt less, in the long run. One thing he wasn't though, he wasn't a coward. He'd stand up to his mistakes like a man, and then let Ianto throw him out the door. The Welshman seemed angry enough to do it.


	9. In the heart

Ianto sank down into the chair he'd been using and looked at the empty one across from it. "Doctor, where did you go?" he asked softly. "How am I supposed to find you again and convince you that Jack's just being a stupid idiot?" He glanced up when the lights flashed. "What is it, sexy? Do you know where he is?" The lights flashed again. Ianto grinned. "I suppose that was a stupid thing to say, wasn't it? I'm just worried about the Doctor so I guess I'm not thinking too clearly. Will you show me where he is? I don't want him to be alone."

The lights flashed and the door opened. Ianto nodded and stood, understanding that the TARDIS was just as anxious as he was. The Doctor had been depressed before, there was no way to know what sort of mind-frame he would be in after the conversation with Jack. That idiot needed a good, swift kick for how he was trying to handle the Doctor. Ianto had believed him at the beginning that he knew how to handle the Time Lord, to stop the crisis and help the Doctor heal, but now he was starting to wonder if Jack even knew what he was doing. Hurting someone who was already depressed was a good way to drive them to hurt themselves, not draw them out and make them feel better. Jack had a lot to answer for and he was going to really be hurting when Ianto got back up to the control room.

The halls twisted around and back on themselves, making Ianto wonder exactly where it was the Doctor fled to, when he came to a large door with alien writing on it. "Is this where he is?" he asked softly. The lights flashed. "Is it safe for me to go in there?" The lights flashed again and Ianto nodded. "All right, I'll take care of him, sexy, I swear I will. Could you keep an eye on Jack for me, please? I don't want him to do anything stupider than he has already. The last thing I need is two badly damaged aliens on the ship with me." The lights flashed, although Ianto picked up a slight annoyance in them. "I know, Jack's an idiot and I'll deal with him once I'm sure the Doctor is all right."

The lights flashed again, making Ianto grin. It was amazing how many emotions the TARDIS could put into flashing lights. "You're right, he can be, but you'd know that better than me," he said. "Wish me luck, sexy."

He pushed the doors open and slipped inside, not sure what he would find beyond them. The room was plain and mostly dark, only a well-like structure in the middle of the room illuminated. The Doctor was leaning against the wall of the well, head resting against his knees, arms wrapped around his shins. Ianto winced at the body language and moved to sit down next to the Doctor. "Where are we?" he asked softly.

"This is as close to the heart of the TARDIS as you can get without opening a grate to the tunnel in the console room," the Doctor replied. "The home of the Cloister Bell."

"The Cloister Bell?" Ianto asked.

"The warning system of the TARDIS," the Doctor replied. "It will ring if the TARDIS is in danger, if any of us are in peril, or to warn me of something. I will hear the bell no matter where I am, how far I am from her. It's a call that must always be answered, Ianto Jones. The warning that will never be ignored."

"So this is as close as you can get to your lovely ship without dying?" Ianto asked.

"She understands me, Ianto Jones. She might not always agree with me, we have had our fights in the past, but she understands me," the Doctor said. "Once, an alien removed the matrix of the TARDIS and placed it inside a human woman named Idris. I was able to talk with my ship, hear her replies verbally rather than as mental brushes against my mind, and I loved her. I didn't want her to go, even though I knew she had to. That she would die if she stayed in the weak human body, and I couldn't lose her. We can still talk, but it's not the same. I'll never hear her voice words again. The last thing she said to me, before she died and returned to her original form was hello. Hello and nice to meet you."

"She's worried about you," Ianto said. He slowly slipped an arm around the Doctor's shoulders. "We both are."

"You shouldn't be."

"Why not?"

"Because this is how I am now. For the first time in a long, long time I choose to be alone," the Doctor said. "Alone means no new pain to deal with. I won't have to worry about anything hurting my hearts again."

Ianto sighed. "You'll stop living then," he said softly. "Doctor, I've told you about losing Lisa, how much that hurt and how I wanted to just hide away and not love anyone ever again. How Jack wouldn't let me do it. I'm not going to let you do it either. I'm always going to be able to find you, no matter where you go, and I won't leave you alone. No one should be alone."

"The TARDIS is on your side now," the Doctor said. "I'm surprised that she hasn't shown Jack where I am. She's always been overly fond of him."

"She's mad at him too," Ianto said. "From what I saw over the monitor, she'd dumped him to the floor, unless he was lying there when you were talking to him."

"No, no, he was in the jumpseat while we had our brief conversation," the Doctor said.

Ianto sighed. He really didn't know how to go about getting the Time Lord to believe what he was going to say next. "Doctor, you've known Jack longer than I have, right?" he asked.

"It's hard to say. You've probably spent more time with him than I have," the Doctor replied. He finally looked up. "Why?"

"Because Jack was being one of the biggest idiots in the universe when you were talking to him, and thought that the best way to talk to you was trying to start a fight," Ianto sighed. "He wanted you to get angry with him and fight about something, and you didn't."

"Why would I argue with him when he's right?" the Doctor asked.

"He told me about that year, Doctor. What happened to him, what he saw of what happened to you," Ianto said. "It doesn't sound like there was much more you could have done."

"There was, if I hadn't been so proud," the Doctor said. "I thought that I had to fix everything because the Master was another Time Lord and I was the only one who could stop him. Instead, all I did was lead Jack and Martha into the trap that was meant for me. They both suffered so much, and didn't get the rewind the rest of the planet did. I failed Jack, I failed everyone then, and I don't blame him for blaming me for what happened to him. The Master saw Jack as his newest toy and was trying to figure out how a human could hold part of the Time Vortex in him like he does. Jack suffered through so much, died so many times, and it all could have been avoided had I been less proud."

"He doesn't blame you, Doctor," Ianto said. "Jack loves you and would follow you into hell if you asked him to go along."

The Doctor shook his head and rested it back against his knees. "Once that might have been true," he said. "Before I abandoned him on a dead station, insulted him so badly and let him fall into the Master's hands. Now he doesn't want anything but sex from me. I suppose I should tell him I'm a married man now. Maybe then he'd leave."

"Where's your wife?" Ianto asked.

"River? Who knows. We never meet up in the correct time stream. She left not long after I lost Amy and Rory, after we lost Amy and Rory," the Doctor said. "They're her birth parents. I'm not sure how close she feels to them though, they only met up when they were with me."

"Does River expect you to be totally faithful to her?" Ianto asked.

"It's never come up before," the Doctor said. "I know she's had other lovers, but she spent much of our association in prison, so I don't know what he views on monogamy are."

Ianto tipped the Doctor's head up. "Should I try and get in touch with her?" he said softly.

"Why would you want to?"

"It would be someone you know and trust and could talk to," Ianto started, but broke off when the Doctor started laughing. "What's so funny?"

"I don't trust River," the Doctor said. "Not completely, it's impossible to when I don't know her because we're in two completely different time streams that intersect only at certain points in our lives. Imagine how it feels to know that you're married to someone and every time you see them you have to get out your diary and figure out what point you're intersecting on. You could ring her up and find out that she's already been to my funeral for this and she's slipped into the wrong stream again. No, Ianto Jones, River is not the person you want to turn to for help in this."

"What would she do to me if I kissed you?" Ianto asked.

"Why would you want to kiss me?"

"Because I think you're attractive, sexy and I really find myself wanting to."

"What about Jack?"

"I think, once you manage to actually talk to him, he'd want to kiss you too," Ianto said. "One thing Jack has taught me is that sex might not be the cure for everything, but knowing that there's someone who cares about you can mean a lot, especially through the really tough times."

"I've never, with anyone," the Doctor said. "Not since my wife and children died in the Time War. That's been centuries."

"Not even with River?"

"No. Like I said, it's hard to be married to someone you hardly know. We flirt, but nothing more." He put his head down again. "I don't even know why we're talking about this."

"Because it's something to take your mind off everything else?" Ianto asked. "We could talk about something silly, but I don't think it would work nearly as well."

"I'd rather not talk about Jack right now," the Doctor replied.

It was all Ianto could do not to laugh. He wanted to, couldn't hold back the soft snort of amusement, but bit his lip to keep from laughing a loud. He wasn't sure what was worse, sulking or mood swings. He reached out and tilted the Time Lord's head back up. "Stop me if you don't want this," he whispered.

The Doctor stayed still as warm lips covered his own in a soft kiss. He wanted the contact so badly, so very badly, but not without Jack's permission. Ianto was Jack's, and he didn't want to give the immortal another reason to hate him. He pulled back carefully. "I think I do want this, but not without Jack knowing it," he said.

"And River?"

"No, she'd want to join us or something," the Doctor said. "I'm tired, Ianto Jones. I'm old and tired."

"Sleep?"

"I can't. Not without seeing Amy leaving me. I didn't see Rory go, but Amy was right in front of me."

"What can I do to help you?" Ianto asked.

"I don't know that anything can," the Doctor replied. He put his head back on his knees. "It's possible nothing will ever be able to help me again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.amazon.com/The-Nightmare-ebook/dp/B00AZLLEMW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1357862075&sr=8-1&keywords=Lexxie+Scott
> 
>  
> 
> I just published my first original novella. If you like my fan fiction, please take a look. :-)


	10. Memories

"Doctor, will you come back up to the library with me?" Ianto asked. "It's not that I don't enjoy seeing more of your ship, but this floor isn't exactly comfortable to be sitting on."

"Yes, I'll come back up," the Doctor replied. "Jack doesn't know about the library and, I think if he were to try and venture into the halls right now, the TARDIS would stop him. Sexy, keep him in the upper parts, please."

Ianto was expecting the lights to flash or some sort of indication that the TARDIS heard the Doctor, but there was nothing. He stepped out into the hallway and looked around. "Which way should we go now?" he asked.

"Would you let me show you something, Ianto Jones?" the Doctor asked in reply.

"Of course," Ianto said. "Whatever you want to show me, I'll be honored to see. Which way do we need to go?"

"This way, I think," the Doctor said. "Even I'm not always sure I'm in the correct hallway when I'm this far into my ship. She's so remarkable, and they had her as a museum piece when I found her." He let his hand trail along the wall and smiled. "I touched her console and thought she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. My granddaughter was with me back then. Susan. She traveled with me for a time."

"What happened to her, if you don't mind my asking," Ianto said.

"No, it's fine. She stayed on Earth with some friends who had also been traveling with us," the Doctor said. "I don't know what happened to her after that. I tried to check on her a few times whenever I was back on Earth, but she must have married, changed her name and settled down. I'm not even sure if she's alive or not."

"That must be hard," Ianto said. "What was her name?"

"Susan," the Doctor said. "Well, when translated to English, anyway. Sort of like I'm the Doctor. No one but our most intimate family is allowed to know our true names, Ianto Jones. When we became travelers in time and space, we realized that using a name that could be recorded and traced was a way to be recorded into history and we risked becoming fixed points in time and space ourselves. Throughout the universe, people talk of the Doctor, but I'm a legend to most of them. A story. We're all stories in the end, Ianto Jones."

"I just hope that we're good stories, Doctor," Ianto said. He paused in the doorway to the room the Doctor walked into. "What's this?"

"The room of memories," the Doctor said. "There are bits and pieces here from every point in my life. My crib, which I in turn gave to Melody Pond. My children slept there as well, Ianto Jones. Susan did too. So much history in one simple item." The Doctor touched it with a fond smile. "The one thing I never seem to be able to save is photographs of my companions. I have things to remember them by." He picked up a piece of fabric that looked like white silk. "Romana wore this. She was a Time Lady, so strong, that traveled with me for a time."

"I think I'm afraid to touch anything," Ianto said, stepping in next to the Doctor. "What about that?"

"That's Susan's bag," the Doctor said. He picked it up and held it out. "You won't be able to hurt it, Ianto Jones."

"No, it's not that, Doctor," Ianto said. "It's just, I've seen that before."

The Doctor frowned at the bag and then looked at Ianto closely. "Where?" he asked.

"My Gran."


	11. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fixing a logical mistake 12/4/13 from this chapter through to the end. :)

The Doctor stared at Ianto. "Your gran?" he whispered.

"She always had the bag with her," Ianto replied. "It never seemed to matter how much she put in it, there was always room for something else. I loved that bag when I was a lad, Doctor. It seemed so magical."

"Come with me," the Doctor said. He grabbed Ianto's hand and pulled him back into the hallway. "Sexy, I need the shortest route to the console room."

"But Doctor, Jack's in the console room," Ianto said as he hurried to keep up with the Time Lord. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Jack looked up as a door opened and the Doctor burst into the console room towing Ianto behind him. "Your gran, Ianto Jones, what was her name?" the Doctor asked going to the console and starting to work the levers and buttons there. "Her name, what's her name?"

"Rosy," Ianto replied. He sat down next to Jack.

"What's going on?" Jack asked, obviously puzzled.

"I don't know," Ianto replied. 

"Rosy, oh she is a tricky one," the Doctor said. He looked up with a wild grin on his face. "So very tricky, my girl, but not tricky enough. When did she die, Ianto Jones?"

"When I was twelve," Ianto said. "Doctor, what's going on?"

"We're going to see your gran," the Doctor said. "Well, I'm going to see your gran. It'd impact the timeline to let you talk to her, Ianto Jones, but you can watch from here." He threw the final lever and the TARDIS materialized behind a house in Wales. "Both of you stay here, do not follow me."

Jack blinked a few times as the Doctor vanished out the door of the TARDIS. "You want to explain all that, Ianto?" he finally asked.

"The Doctor took me to see a room of memories, Jack," Ianto said, feeling a little dizzy at the whirlwind the Doctor had become. "There was a bag there that he said belonged to his granddaughter, but I'd seen my gran with. Then he dragged me up here and started doing whatever that was and now he's gone."

"Ianto, do you know what this means?" Jack asked.

"No."

"You're the Doctor's great-great-grandson," Jack said.

"Oh, shit."  
***

The Doctor knocked on the door to a well-kept house and straightened his bowtie. He didn't know if he was right or not, but he had to see. He heard footsteps coming towards the door and swallowed hard as the door opened.

"Grandfather!"

"Hello dear one," the Doctor said with a smile. He hugged Susan tightly. "I thought I'd lost you forever."

"How did you find me?" Susan asked.

"Ianto Jones."

"You've met him? He's just a lad."

"In the future, dearest," the Doctor said. "He and his lover are in the TARDIS now, no doubt watching this. I can't let you see him, it'd impact the timelines and I've caused the universe to explode too many times recently."

Susan pulled back with a smile. "Always poking at things you shouldn't be, aren't you, grandfather?" she asked. "Do you have time to come in for a cup of tea?"

"Of course," the Doctor replied. "Ianto and his friend are fine and the TARDIS won't leave without me. You should at least come and say hello to her from outside before I leave. I think she'd like to see you again."

"I will," Susan said. "Grandfather, there's something you should know. I'm not going to regenerate again. I'm on my final form."

"Oh, Susan," the Doctor said. "What happened?"

"Life," she said. "Here, sit, I'll make tea. I've hopped around the Earth's timeline, always careful to avoid where I was or would be as I aged in each regeneration and didn't always end up in the best times. Still, I think I've had a better life than most of the stuff-shirts back home."

The Doctor sighed. "There is no back home, dearest," he said. "There was a War, a horrible war with the daleks and the only way to stop it, to save the universe, was to seal Gallifrey away in a time lock. I killed them all. Your mum and dad were there, your siblings; our family. Everyone. Even Romana."

"Oh, Grandfather," Susan said. She crossed over and pulled the Doctor into a hug. "You did what you had to do and I'm sure you looked at every other option before you did it. You're not a killer, Grandfather."

"Thank you, dear one," the Doctor said. "So, you've been time hopping here on Earth. Tell me about your family in this time."

She went and gathered up the tea set and brought it back to the table. "You want to know about Ianto."

"Yes, well, it's not every day I find out I have a great-great-grandson," the Doctor said with a smile. "Especially one who has become rather overly fond of me."

Susan looked at him for so long that the Doctor turned red. "Grandfather."

"We can recognize another Time Lord, dear one. Half bloods are a little trickier," the Doctor said. "I had no idea that Ianto was even part Time Lord, let alone of my line. It does explain how he is so extraordinary though. I had wondered about that. I've known so many humans in my time, and never one who was as exceptional as Ianto."

"He is that, isn't he?" Susan asked. "All right, what would you like to know?"  
***

"Hello Gran," Ianto whispered later on, after he and Jack had talked and come to an understanding again. They were watching the monitor and saw the Doctor and a woman come up to the TARDIS.

"That's the Doctor's granddaughter?" Jack asked, watching over Ianto's shoulder.

"Yeah," Ianto replied. "She was so remarkable, Jack. So magical, especially to a young lad who wanted to know the answers to everything. I do miss her."

The pair watched as the woman hugged the Doctor tightly and then turned back towards her house. The Doctor came back inside. "It's her," he said softly. "On her last regeneration."

"What's this mean, Doctor?" Jack asked.

"It means, Captain, that we all need to have a very serious talk."


	12. Boeshane

"We're here," the Doctor said, throwing a final lever and heading towards the doors.

"Where's here?" Jack asked, following. He was a little more used to the Doctor's wild mood swings, but he had to admit that he was a little thrown at how the Doctor had gone from suicidal to traveling around again. "Doctor, where are we?"

"Boeshane, Captain," the Doctor said turning around. "Boeshane before anyone lived here. Just the beach and oceans, plenty of quiet and time to talk. That's what we all need to do, talk."

"This is your home, Jack?" Ianto asked, following the pair out of the TARDIS.

Jack nodded. "Will be, one day," he replied. "We need to be alert for the larger snakes that live out in the oceans, but as long as we stick close to the TARDIS we should be okay."

"The snakes, Captain, arrive with people," the Doctor said. "There is only one life form native to this planet, and they live deep in the oceans. We don't need to worry about them. Now, Ianto Jones. I imagine you have a few questions for me right now, don't you? Come, sit here and ask them. I'll answer as best I can."

"My gran, she wasn't, isn't, human?" Ianto asked, sitting down next to the Doctor.

"No, no she's not," the Doctor said with a smile. "She's a Time Lady, one who chose to live on Earth as a human, or as much as she could. Each Time Lord has twelve regenerations, thirteen bodies available to them. Susan, or Rosy if you will, is on number thirteen when you were born. She's hopped around the planet's history, probably traveling to places where she could help others, and ended up regenerating rather than dying."

"Doctor, does that mean Ianto's not going to age and die?" Jack asked, sitting down next to his lover and making a sort of circle out of the three of them.

The Doctor shrugged. "I don't know, Captain," he sighed. "I honestly don't. With half-blood Time Lords, sometimes they get all the powers of their Time Lord parents and sometimes they don't get any. No, only time will tell us if Ianto Jones here can regenerate or not."

"I've got plenty of that," Jack said. "Not planning on leaving him any time soon."

"Good, that's good, Captain," the Doctor said. "What else, Ianto Jones?"

"My mind's a bit of a whirl right now, honestly," Ianto said. "I'd had it in my mind that we were going to have a different sort of relationship and now I find out you're related to me by blood. That puts a damper on a few ideas that I had."

"You do have a choice to make now. You can come travel with me and learn about the Time Lords or I can take you back to Earth and you can work with Jack at Torchwood," the Doctor said. "No, Jack, I'm not trying to steal him. You can come too, if he chooses to travel."

"Even with what he did to you?" Ianto asked.

"Yes, even with that," the Doctor replied. "I can't say that I'll be comfortable for the first few weeks, Captain, but I'm willing to try if it's what my great-great-grandson wishes."

"It's extremely odd hearing that," Ianto said with a smile. "I'd like to travel with you, Doctor. See a bit of the universe, even if I can't see where you're from. What do you say, Jack?"

Jack sighed. "We need to go back and appoint someone I trust to take over Torchwood," he said. "I love the Earth, Doctor, but it'd be nice to be back in the stars again. Thank you for giving me yet another chance. I keep waiting for the day that I run out of them."

"We all make mistakes, Captain," the Doctor said. "Now then, Ianto Jones, to answer the big question in your mind, yes, we can, if that's what you want."

"How? I mean, I'm your great-great-grandson, Doctor. How could that work out?"

"Time Lords are a logical bunch," the Doctor said. "Blood relations that far down the line are still blood relations, but if it's a same sex relationship, then there's no taboo against it."

"You just made that up, didn't you, Doctor," Jack said, trying not to laugh.

"If I did?" the Doctor asked.

"Hey, you'll get no argument from me," Jack replied. "I'm always up for something new."

"He is," Ianto sighed. "He really is. Doctor, I'd like to consider it for a time, if I may."

"Of course you can, take all the time you need," the Doctor smiled. "Now, Captain, to answer your question. I'm not alone any more. I have family back with me. Family is cool."

Jack sighed. "I just worry about your mood swings, Doctor. I always have," he said.

"Captain, you've lived for how many years now?"

"I dunno, three hundred or so I guess," Jack said. "It's a bit hard to estimate."

"It is. When you've lived for over a thousand, we'll talk again about mood swings and whether they're good or not," the Doctor said. He clapped his hands together and hopped up. "So, back to Earth to find a new leader for Torchwood and then off we go again."

Ianto looked over at Jack, who sighed. "Yeah, this is a bit more what I remember," Jack said.


	13. Chapter 13

"Doctor, can you land us close to the time when we left?" Jack asked, watching the Doctor run around the console with a fond smile. He didn't know what he thought about the new regeneration, but he really wanted to give it a try. "There will be fewer questions asked then if we turn up weeks later."

"Can't cut it too close or we risk a paradox," the Doctor replied. "I can get you both back that evening, will that work?"

"Yeah, that'll be fine," Jack said. "I'll just tell them that we were in the archives and no one yelled loudly enough for us to hear them."

Ianto laughed. "You're assuming that Gwen didn't make a trip down to look for us, Jack," he said.

"It's a maze down there, Ianto," Jack said. "We've been hiding."

"Where do you want me to land, Captain?" the Doctor asked. "I can get past the tech you have on the Hub and land there if you'd like."

"No, land in the alley back behind the tourist office," Jack said. "That way we don't let anyone see the TARDIS."

"But Jack, how are we going to explain coming in the front door if we've been down in the archives all day?" Ianto asked. "Not even Gwen will buy that explanation."

"Yeah, you're right," Jack sighed. "All right, Doctor, can you land us down in the archives?"

"I don't know," the Doctor said. "I'll try my best though. Now then, Ianto Jones, while the Captain is working on finding someone new to run Torchwood, although I have the perfect person in mind if he would only listen to me, you need to go and pack up your things. Take as many trips as you need, but make sure you don't leave a trace of yourself in your flat."

"I'm not coming back then?" Ianto asked.

"It's unlikely," the Doctor replied. The TARDIS landed with the usual shudder. "Right then, take a look, is that where we need to be?"

Jack cracked the door open and looked out. "Close enough," he said. "All right, come on Ianto. Let's go start making plans to leave for good."

"Doctor?" Ianto said.

"Yes, yes, I'm right behind you," the Doctor said. 

The trio made their way out and up into the Hub. "Well that was a waste of time," Jack said, looking around. "They're all gone."

"Is it later than we thought?" Ianto asked, moving to Tosh's workstation to check for any rift alerts that might have come in while they were gone. "No, it's still working hours, so where are they?"

"There's a note on the door to your office, Captain," the Doctor said. "Couldn't find you so we're taking the day off. It's signed Gwen."

"Yeah, it would be," Jack sighed. "All right, Ianto, take the Doctor with you and start bringing your things to the Hub. I've got some phone calls to make."

"Captain, you could do worse than Martha," the Doctor said as he followed Ianto towards the stairs.  
***

"So what all do I need to bring?" Ianto asked when he and the Doctor were back at his flat. 

"Anything you want to keep," the Doctor replied, looking around in interest. "There's a wardrobe on the TARDIS so you don't have to bring all your clothes, but bring anything you want to wear or favorite things."

Ianto nodded. "There's really not much here that I want to keep, honestly," he said. "My photos and books are the only things I really want. Can we put the photos in the room of memories, Doctor?"

"If you like," the Doctor said. "Books and photos and some clothes. You're a simple man with great depths, Ianto Jones."

"Gran always said that things can be replaced," Ianto said, putting a couple of suitcases on the floor in the living room. "Memories are the most important thing we have because they will never be taken from us. I don't have many family photos here, Doctor, but there are a couple with Gran in them."

"I'd like to see them when we're back on the TARDIS," the Doctor said with a smile. "Will all your things fit in there?"

"I've got a couple more if I need them," Ianto said. "Once my things are on the TARDIS, I'll leave the cases at Torchwood. As much as I love my work here, it's like I'm being called to travel. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, of course it does," the Doctor said. "I think, Ianto Jones, that there is Time Lord in you and it's starting to awaken. The call didn't touch many, most Time Lords preferred to stay home and grow stuffy in their studies, but every so often there would be a call to go out and explore the universe. I wish I could tell you if you are going to regenerate, to be able to spend more than one life with me, and with Jack, but I can't. There isn't a way to measure this."

"I understand, and if one is all I get, then I plan to live it to the fullest," Ianto said. He closed one of the suitcases and turned to the other. "Some of these books have been with me through every move. I don't want to take all of them, just the special ones. Then I'll grab some clothes, leave next month's rent and no one will question my vanishing."

"No one?"

"My sister and I don't get on," Ianto said. "I realize that she's in the same situation I am, but she wouldn't react well to this news, Doctor. She has a husband and family, and told me not to come around until I wised up and got rid of Jack."

The Doctor sat down and sighed. "We'll have to keep an eye on her," he said. "If she's showing signs that she'll regenerate, then she'll need my help, but no, we don't have to go to her now."

"Thank you," Ianto said.


	14. Chapter 14

"You're late," Martha Jones said when Gwen and Owen showed up the next morning.

"Martha, what are you doing here?" Gwen asked, puzzled.

"I'm the new Head of Torchwood," Martha replied. "Jack's left the planet for reasons of his own and appointed me and Mickey to take over in his place. There's notes on all your desks from him. Read them and then head to the conference room. We need to start reviewing everything to get us up to operating standards."

Gwen didn't move. "Where's Jack?" she demanded.

"Gone," Martha said. "So's Ianto and they're not coming back. Come on, we're going to make some changes around here and it's time to get started."  
***

"You know, Captain, it really was mean of you to leave in the middle of the night and let poor Martha have to explain everything," the Doctor said as they were setting up the room that Jack and Ianto were going to share. "She's a strong woman, one who will run Torchwood perfectly, but you should have stayed to answer questions from your team."

"Nah, Gwen's the only one who's going to make problems, and Martha can handle her," Jack grinned. "Owen and Tosh will read their letters and understand what's happened. The only complaint Owen's going to have is lack of Ianto's coffee."

"I left a pot for them in the kitchen," Ianto said. "So, Doctor, what now?"

"Now we travel and learn new things," the Doctor said. "We all get to know each other better, and you learn about the Time Lords. We run and we don't look back."

Jack laughed. "You do spend a lot of time running when you're with the Doctor," he said. "You'll soon be in better shape than you've ever been, Ianto."

"Yes, well, running is good for you," the Doctor said. "Especially when it keeps you from getting shot or captured. Then running is brilliant. So, Captain, you've been planet-bound for centuries. Where do you want to go first?"

"Somewhere fun and safe where we can introduce Ianto to life on new planets without worrying about being hurt in any way," Jack said.

"Blimey, that's a bit of a tall order," the Doctor said. "Still, no worries, I'm sure I can find something. Come join me when you're both ready."

Ianto watched the Doctor leave and looked over at Jack. "He hasn't forgotten any of it, has he?" he asked.

"No," Jack replied with a sigh. "I know he's trying to hide it, but he's still flinching any time I get too close to him. It'll take time, Ianto, and I'll have to prove myself again." He sat down on the floor and started to shelve the books that he and Ianto wanted to keep with them rather than place in the library on the TARDIS. "It's not the first time and I doubt it will be the last. I think having you with us will help though. I'm going to keep my distance as best I can, and he did leave it up to you to make the choice if you wanted more."

"How do you decide if you want to sleep with your great-great-grandfather?" Ianto asked.

"Hell Ianto, I've woken up in bed with myself a couple of times," Jack replied with a grin. "There are some cases where things are flexible and times when they're not. It's up to you if you want to focus on the blood relationship and exclude all other choices, or if you want to acknowledge that the relationship is there, but that you still feel a physical attraction to him. The Doctor left it up to you and he'll accept either choice you make and honor it."

"I wasn't lying when I said it would take time," Ianto said.

"We're in a time machine now, Ianto," Jack said. "We have all the time in the universe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's up to you what Ianto decided. *grins* There may be a sequel to this piece at some point in the future.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't watched Torchwood, so I'm going off what I've read and seen on youtube, so hopefully I haven't butchered Ianto too badly.
> 
> Ratings will change for future chapters.


End file.
